The FARANG Speaks 2 Much (tfs2m)

As you all know I am in Penang. I don’t like it much but I managed to enjoy myself.

I should be picking up my Visa in a few hours and then hopefully convincing Air Asia to let me leave on an earlier flight than I had booked. Maybe if I bitch about my express boarding experience they will show me some love. However I doubt it. I stayed in the WORST guesthouse ever but I just don’t want to talk about it. I am still here to tell about it though. Breakfast at Banana New, not New Banana, is okay but the Free WiFi is still the bomb. Iced Coffee is keeping me awake since I slept for about 30 minutes last night in between fending off the giant mosquitoes, the geckos and the loud Chinese bantering. Living the dream. It was 8:00 PM last night when I logged off, ate some dinner and decided to explore. Purely for blog copy.

I walked around - popped into a few hotel Health Centers but they were doing nothing for me. I am not one of those guys to partake just for the sake of partaking. I am spoiled from Thailand. If they are not cute, offer something special or look like they are having some fun then I am out. So these Malaysian Health Centers just don’t float my boat. I happened to chat up a rickshaw driver who was fun to talk to with and was not trying to exploit me for all I was worth. He was sharing stories about the Indo ladyboys, the backpackers and the funny goings on in Penang nightlife. I bought him a few beers at the 7 and we sat in the street and chatted.

We then worked out a flat fee of 10 RM for him to drive me around to the various non-hotel based Health Centers that he knew of to see if I saw anything I liked. So we pedaled around and popped into about 4 places. They were all terrible. Mostly older Malay and Chinese women sitting in the lounge area smoking and looking as moody as ever. The papasans also turn me off and in general I just feel bad for people involved in the whole scene. Can’t do it.

After about the fourth one I decided to give up. I figured I would go read my book, have a drink and chill. Then the rickshaw guy asked if I liked foreign women. Sure. I told him I did not want anything young and I was not looking for some freaky scene. Let’s face it. I don’t want to end up in some Malay jail looking for an Embassy contact. He said he felt he could introduce me to his friend, a taxi driver, that worked with a group of foreign girls who freelance out of service apartments. He had wanted to make sure first that I was not some undercover dude or something. I told him I was more afraid of him then he should be of me. So he made some calls and we hung out on the sidewalk.

About 20 minutes later a taxi dude pulled up in a new taxi and he did not have extremely long ear hair. He told me that I had to pay him 20 RM to drive me to the apartments and back. Even if I did not partake. I was too curious at this point not to oblige. We drove out, maybe 15 minutes from Georgetown, and pulled into a parking garage of some nice service apartments. Elevator to the 5th floor and into a fairly large and modern apartment. So far no police or bust appeared imminent.

The living room of the apartment had about 10 girls. All foreign girls but of various mixes. Russian mixed with Asian races. Some Turkish and some Iranian. I was somewhat weirded out by it all. Next to me though was a tall Russian girl that I was chatting up. She spoke good English and claimed to be a student in KL but admitted straight off to be freelancing around Asia as needed to pay the bills. She was half Korean and half Russian. I used to have a Russian girlfriend. Fond memories flooded my head.

350 RM.

Penang just moved up a notch in my book.

Off to the Thai Embassy.