The FARANG Speaks 2 Much (tfs2m)

Hi all. This is the first installment of a weekly Bangkok scene update that we will be posting to the Mango Blog. We will still be blogging as we are currently blogging but will also try hard to get the Mango Weekly out every Sunday. Yes, I know that weekly and bi-weekly updates are being done to death but maybe this Weekly will offer a different perspective. As bar owners and patrons we hear and see quite a bit so hopefully you will find this information useful and entertaining. If not just change the channel.

Nana Entertainment Plaza (NEP)
Nana Plaza continues to stay open until 2am and it seems to be catching on. This past week has been particularly busy especially for bars that have a roster of "petite" girls. This is thanks to a 10-day holiday in Japan. I heard that one of the Rainbow bars did 90+ bar fines the other night. Other news:
- Pretty Lady is still shut down. No word on when they will be back open.
- Erotica is remodeling downstairs but upstairs is really hopping with a boatload of extra girls from downstairs. The shows are very entertaining and even more visual is the amount of flesh when the girls are on the floor. If you haven’t been to Erotica it’s the 3rd floor corner behind Carousel. They are not a boring 2-step shuffle go-go and have discreet short time rooms next door.
- Angelwitch as usual is jamming and really enjoying the 2am close time. I couldn’t even walk in the place the other night at 1:50am. Angelwitch though has suffered a bit recently reputation-wise. Some stories of pushy mamasan/ladies and expensive negotiations have hit the different web sites. Not sure how true these are.
- Carousel added a cool stage by the bar where a few ladies seductively dance. They also have a larger than normal selection of women.
- My number one recommendation these days in the NEP is Playskool for sure. Many extras that you should discover for yourself. Although, a friend of mine was very disappointed when he wanted to go long-time with a girl there. It was 2am and she wanted 3000 baht. Dumb move in my opinion as he walked.
- Haven’t been to Hollywood Rock but heard it wasn’t too bad.
- My last trips to Mercury, Silver Dragon, Hollywood, Mandarin and Carnival have been less than exciting as they continue to take the typical 2-step go-go approach. However, there are always a few gems in each of them minus Carnival and Hollywood. This is just my opinion and maybe I went to those bars on off nights.
- Lucky Luke’s is still my favorite hang out and watch the plaza go by place besides the Mango of course. It’s got the best views and PJ, the Manager, is a great guy to shoot the shite with. Not a big fan of Big Dog’s and Morning Night although I do have some great friends that work there.
- Nana Disco hasn’t changed a bit. It’s still loaded with freelancers. The music was a bit lame this past week’s visit. I hate that fast beat disco crap but they did switch to hip hop later.
- Josephine’s at Soi 1 continues to be a great after hours destination, except on weekends. I went there on Wednesday and it was loaded with talent which was the opposite case this past Friday.
- Soi 11 Hip Hop club still hopping. I went there Friday night at 4:30am and it was packed. Be careful there as I pointed out in my "Life after 1:00am" blog entry. Many of the girls are tweaking.

Soi Cowboy (SC)
SC is definitely the place for nudity. It’s unfortunate that NEP can’t live by the same standards more or less but that’s life. Other news:
- Baccarat upstairs is a popular place still with the Japanese clientele. I have had bad experiences there my past two trips. The girls have the worst attitude of any go-go I know currently. They pick you, not the other way around. That’s fine but why put up with that? When you do finally get a girl over to buy her a drink don’t be surprised if she takes off after one drink to be with a customer she deems more profitable. Very lame.
- Sheeba’s and Suzie Wong’s are my top recommendations. Great shows and great women. You can also hang out and not worry about pushy mamasans.
- Long Gun is probably the busiest go-go in SC. That’s pretty much always been the case for as long as I have been coming here. They are very similar to Angelwitch and enjoy the top billing as must-see go-go’s. With success though comes attitude in the girls so beware.
- My opinion only, avoid DejaVu. I don’t want to give specifics but had a bad experience there.
- Midnight wasn’t too bad. High flesh factor and some decent ladies.
- Popped my head in other go-go’s but they were pretty dead so just went to the one’s mentioned above
- Pennyblack and Old Dutch remain the after-hours choices but a few "erect-a-bars" have popped up along the Soi after 1:00am. Yes, they do charge bar fines at these bars.

Patpong
I haven’t been to Patpong in over a month. I have a very low opinion of Patpong and this was well before owning a bar in Nana. I’m sure there are some cool bars there but I haven’t found any yet. It’s one big "let’s rip off the farang" scene. You are accosted every two steps by the most annoying guys hawking ping-pong shows or sexy lady massage or great deal on drinks go-go’s. They irk me, especially when I hear stories from guys who get taken. I’ve been to one of the ping pong shows. It cost 600 baht a head to walk in the door. You then sit down and the most gruesome creatures attack you from behind massaging your shoulders. Saying "No thank you" about 10 times seems to finally get them away before the next one comes up, and they all have the nerve to ask for a tip anyway. The show then consists of a few hags standing on stage. They stand there and do nothing for about 20 minutes. This is a ploy to get you to buy another 180 baht beer. The show finally comes and it is so lame. I hate Patpong but if I do find some good bars there I will let you know.

Pattaya
Check out the Pattaya blog entries this past week and next week for the latest updates.

Phuket
I went there about two months ago for the first time and had an amazing time. I won’t give an update until after my next trip though since it would not be fresh at this time. The Bangla Road scene is definitely happening. I wasn’t impressed at all with the cookie cutter beer bar scene down the various Soi’s, and the three or four go-go’s I went to were very lame. However, there are some great night clubs and beautiful ladies about. I only like Phuket for a few days though because it’s a bit too touristy for me. You barely know you’re in Thailand when you walk the streets. It is fun tooling around on a rented motorbike though so give it a try when you’re down there.

Tales From The Street
Disclaimer: This section contains various tales heard on the street and may not be for the faint of heart so read at your own risk .

T1. Yellow Bed
I couldn’t help but laugh when I heard this one. This guy told me about this beautiful girl he met last week. It was one of the most beautiful girls he ever met. She was leaving Josephine’s on Soi 1 at the same time he was. They were both attached for the evening but their eyes locked and both knew they had to connect. He got his business card into a launch position and hoped for the right moment to hand it to her discreetly. The moment was brief and he managed to toss his card on the street as the attention of both the girls date and his were temporarily distracted. She quickly dived for it without anybody noticing, a move that impressed the desperate punter. The next night they hooked up and although she was shy at first it quickly became a very memorable evening and not too expensive if you know what I mean. All the "girlfriend" thoughts were swimming through the guys head even though he is a devote Butterfly. The next night he called and they partied pretty hard. They both passed out exhausted and drunk. The next morning he noticed that she woke up and quickly ran off to the shower. After the shower she went home. As our friend waved her goodbye he thought to himself how lucky he was with such a beauty. However, the love fairy committed suicide when he noticed that his bed was soaking wet and was an interesting shade of yellow by the area where his dream princess slept. Well, it wasn’t the glow of the morning sun, the girl pissed the bed. The next night he received a call from the girl who wanted to hang out. He flapped his butterfly wings and flew for the hills. I could tell you another one or two about Red Beds but they’re just too gross.

T2. Ooh Ooh That Smell
Another tale about a beauty and her beast. Another gorgeous girl, a petite go-go goddess in fact. This guy takes her to his hotel and the prerequisite showers take place. The loving goes into full gear but then the guy smells something below. A stench as he describes liken to the bowl movement of a recently deceased rat by the edge of a polluted river. The princess suffered from "vaginosis" (a term describing a very smelly southern region in case you couldn’t figure it out). The weird part about this story is that the guy still went through with the deal. Ten showers later he received a call from the apparently unknowing girl. He didn’t answer.

Big Mango Bar Updates
- We now offer free Wifi Internet Access for our customers. A kiosk will be set up as well but I’m battling with Microsoft demons so it’s not set up yet. I may just put Linux on since it’s a simple kiosk setup.
- We just got new pool cues in. Same one’s being used at the popular Ball-In-Hand pool halls.
- Special of the Week from our kitchen: NZ Lamb Chop
- The new Big Mango Bar t-shirts for Ladies (White and Blue) and Men (Black) are here.

-pmmp