I’m very big on compartmentalising my life – I don’t like crossover – I am a certain sort of bloke to my friends, a particular type of chap to my family, a businesslike fellow in my work and an identifiable cove in my mongering life – never should one leak over into the other. So I am very practiced at keeping the various aspects of my life apart. This seems to be such a habit that it extends into areas of my life where it doesn’t matter much. So my hotel is for sleeping and putting on a respectable face – I just cannot bring spunk-buckets back there – it’s a silly attitude, but one I am stuck with.
And so, as you imagine, I favour ‘on-site’ philandering.
These fall into three categories:
- I just need quick satisfaction – a blowjob bar
- I want a relaxing, drawn out pampering sorta thing – a massage parlour
- I want a romp – the Eden Club
Suprisingly, the Eden Club doesn’t get much of a mention on FS2M. I guess the majority of FS2M readers and posters are more experienced mongers who can barfine in their sleep, but the Eden Club is one of the rare places in BKK where I feel I can speak with some authority.
Those of you who are newbies to the scene or plain chicken-shit (I was) should give it some serious consideration – It’s prime attraction for newbies, or the very nervous, is that you need to be moderately brave for about 2 minutes and then after that everything (if you wish it) is taken out of your hands and you can just go with the flow (Poohism I believe it’s called).
Let’s get rid of the downside first – it’s expensive and the girls aren’t all that stunning……. Yes, but, it’s expensive because they make you take two girls at a time…… and the girls? Well, I’ve always found them ok looking, but more important they are a lot of fun and have no bad attitudes – more on why that is later.
The Eden Club is all about certainties – things you can be sure of on each visit:
- You get a 90 minute romp with two enthusiastic girls
- Once you have made your selection they will take care of you as much as you want them to – you don’t need to initiate anything - (the first time this was invaluable to me) and they will just set about making sure you have a great time
- You can do with and to them pretty much anything you have seen in a standard porn movie – they will not object, or sulk, but accommodate you eagerly
- They will always do BBBJ’s – condoms only for V&A intercourse
- There is no walk of shame to a short-time hotel – the rooms are accessed by lift (elevator) directly from the bar
- The girls draw strength of some sort by being in pairs and it just makes them more fun than they would be alone
This will cost you 3,600 Baht for the two for 90 minutes.
They provide an experience sadly only a few in this world will ever get to realise but that practically all (men at least) dream about.
Here you can experience the lavish attentions of two wonderful Thai ladies in a safe and secure environment. It is difficult to portray how ‘unseedy’ the experience is until you’ve tried it. The ladies are friendy, laughing and joking - they are interested in you and what you do in a refreshingly different way (although that is true of most Thai ladies and indeed most P4P). They certainly know how to show a man a good time.
OK – lets get the tricky bit out of the way.
- You need to enter the club – open from 12.30 p.m.
- You need to decide if you want some rearguard action or not – only some girls are ‘shit chute’ friendly
- You need to choose a girl from the line-up and get her to select a friend of hers to make up the dynamic duo
That’s it – it’s all auto-pilot from then on….
If you ever want to try it when I am in town I’ll happily take you there and get you through this first bit – but seriously, the awkward bit lasts only a minute or two and after that you won’t stop smiling.
Here’s roughly how it works:
Upon entering the club you have a bar on your left and facing the bar is the wall where the girls will line up to be chosen. There is a yellow line painted on the wall. All the ladies standing to the left of the line will allow anal sex and all those to the right will only do vaginal and oral sex (they insist on condoms for everything except oral).
When you have summoned up enough courage you will be invited to choose one lady and let her choose the second lady, but if you want you can choose as many as you want. The record is held by an Irish guy who had a romp with 22 ladies. I don’t expect there are many nights when he lays down his head to go to sleep that he doesn’t think back to that time.
This done the ladies will escort you out the back, into an elevator and up to a room. You pay afterwards. They will undress themselves and you and then take you into the shower to clean you and themselves up.
If you want to lie back and enjoy it they will organise you - their aim is to ensure you get as much pleasure as you can take - that is what happened on my first visit. However, the second time around and ever since I directed things myself and had them do what I wanted and when I wanted - this was even more fun. They were completely compliant. Only a few of the girls are truly bisexual, but they try to put on a convincing show.
For a bonding experience you can even take your girlfriend as a guest and use up even more bed acreage with writhing bodies. They’ll even put porn on the DVD player if you want but frankly I have more than enough imagination thank you so I didn’t need it. After 90 minutes your fun comes to an end. It is normal to tip the girls - I normally go with 500 Baht each.
The prime reason the ladies are anxious to please you is that you don’t pay until afterwards and only if you are completely satisfied.
The ladies will escort you down to the bar to settle your bill and get a bit clingy at that point because theoretically you could invoke the Eden Club’s ‘no satisfaction - no pay’ guarantee - but they relax when you pay - normally give you a peck on the cheek and wave you goodbye.
I’m trying to think of a useful analogy where the supplier wraps up everything you need in one bundle and sells you the complete experience – no extras – but I can’t think of one – but that’s what the Eden Club does – go – enjoy.
Nice piece, Doc. What I like about it is your human, civilised approach to the World of Whorecraft. There are plenty of (us) reasonable, ordinary, well-behaved blokes in the world who have never gone whoring because they think it’s dirty, dangerous, or only for those who (er …) can’t get “sex for nothing.” As much as I enjoy{ed) a walk down the sleazy side of the street, I appreciate it’s not for everyone. What Bangkok does (best, if not uniquely) is offer everyman what he needs, and does not get back in the west. If you want to be discreet, you can be. If you want to go back to your hotel with a couple of teetering ladyboys on each arm, you can. It’s up to you.
I never went to Eden because I thought the whole thing would be TOO professional, and I think I was wrong.
View all comments by Pants Elk
I’m not sure Eden Club could be in any way described as ‘unseedy’ - just talking to that Belgian guy makes me feel unclean - but I’m in agreement pretty much on the rest of it.
View all comments by Combover
Good summary of the place but I’m surprised that you consider the Eden experience as an “easy” one. I know several guys who wouldn’t dare to try it (me, well, I am a psycho :)): usually you do a threesome with girls from gogos who have little to none experience. At Eden, you do it with professionals! You have to be good! This is a bit of a challenge.
Regarding the price, well, 3600 baht, or even 4600 if you include the tips for 90 min with 2 girls doing their job very good, I don’t think this is expensive. Whereelse in the world would you find this rate???
View all comments by Suk Psycho
The price + tip of 4600 equals around $170 Aussie dollars, for 90 minutes It’s the bargain of the century. There was an article in today’s newspaper on brothels and the average price, per 30 mins is $150 for 1 girl & they don’t even take it up the clacker.
View all comments by Tark
Nice write-up, doc. With tip, it’s about US$140. A deal if there ever was one. Hell, in the states, that’s a dinner and a movie and NO guarantee with only one chick.
Another thing is that it’s pretty time efficient. Actually, picking the girls is pretty easy…no different than a massage joint.
View all comments by The Asian Badger
co - think the belgian guy is long gone from eden.
suk - I always here mixed things as well. I hear sometimes people feel the place is overwhelming and they did not have fun. but since I have never been I am not sure.
tark - what is the link?
ab - so time wise it sounds like money well spent.
db - great write up. I am starting to have to live a little more discreetly than in times past. so I may be hitting eden sooner than I used to think but I figure I will save it for when I think I no longer have a reason to be here and it might be just the thing to perk me up.
View all comments by sideshowBOB
“spunk buckets” LOVE IT.
View all comments by Mr Right
http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,24261412-5017865,00.html
And the paragraph a little bit down from the top. “Mr Gilmore said compared to a night out trying to woo a woman the brothel’s services - starting at $150 for 30 minutes - could be cost effective.”
View all comments by Tark
I have to say, I am FAR from won over by eden club or any of its myriad imitations…I’ve walked place the place on 7/1 Sukh many a time at various hours, and I have to say the operative word here is BUTT UGLY…girls of the caliber you can pick up for 1/3 the price if you do it outside the ridiculously convoluted/constricted Eden guidelines…
I mean, yeah, they’re all guaranteed to do “lesbian” as proven in a high-pressure performance sith imported dildos before the Frenchman who was hiring them…um, am I missing something or does that somehow mean more than witnessing a dog taking a shit on the sidewalk to anyone else but me?!?!?!
View all comments by ratchada
Nice write up DB. I still haven’t done Eden Club but not because of the reasons mentioned above. I’ve always held it as a mythical fantasyland experience in my mind. The pinnacle of sexual experiences here in Thailand. I’ve built it up so much in my mind that I don’t want to tear it down by actually experiencing it. It may or may not be a let down at this point but not going keeps it alive. Weird I know but works for me. If I ever leave Thailand it will be the last place I go. So, hopefully I will never go.
View all comments by pmmp
@ratchada: where exactly are these ‘myriad imitations’ please?
View all comments by Combover
Soi 7/1 off Sukhumvit is the place to go for great massages.
Jaiyenyen gave us the thumbs up on the Ring Bar which is right next door to Eden and we haven’t felt the need change from the Ring thing. Visited twice in 10 days last April. 2000 Bht for the BBBJ and happy with everything but some of these girls are way better than average. See the full explanation and some names to ask for at:
http://guide.tfs2m.com/thailand/bangkok/bars/beer_bars/sukhumvit/nana/the-ring/
Cheers
View all comments by 3amigos
@ PE “with a couple of teetering ladyboys on each arm” - did you have a specific byronesque monger in mind?
@ Combover - much of my orginal feelings have stayed with me as it was an early P4P experience - by ‘unseedy’ I think I meant that as much as I expected to enjoy myself, I also expected to feel sleazy - but the happy ’sanuk’ attitude of the girls changed that within minutes - I concede it is like that in other P4P encounters, but at the time I was pleasantly suprised
@ suk - them being ‘professional’ in my view is a bonus (would you like us to do this?…. errrr… yeah)
@ tark - agree! I meant expensive as a night out - i.e. one person would be cheaper.
@ ab - and they’ll let you bring in a crowbar
@ mr - ta - very ‘Young Penfold’ don’t you agree?
@ ratch - well I have witnessed a dog taking a crap and I still think Eden is better
@ ssb/pmmp - it is mythical for sure, I don’t want to burst your bubble but maybe a good description would be the ‘McDonalds of P4P’ (you can even supersize the encounter if you wish) I think it will go down better with the less experienced mongers - but gratitude for its existence (at least for me) remains
View all comments by doctorbond
@ 3 Amigos - yes I noted your comments before on the Ring and am certain to include that in my next soi 7/1 wanderings (but not Subway as I had a ‘hello again’ experience with the last food I bought there)
View all comments by doctorbond
Simply Eden Club should be on everyones must do list. Don’t drink too much the night before & get there close to opening time. Now if I could only follow my own advice.
View all comments by Wombat
I did the Eden on my first trip to LOS and it certainly does what it says on the tin - a good time had by all. But for my money, I’ve had a coupla 3sums at Tulip which were truly mind-blowing - not as much of the lesbian stuff, but truly unihibited, and slightly better looking girls. On the money side, exactly the same - 1500 for each girl and 600 for the house on a 90min session, tips not really required. Still, I would certainly recommend every man gets to Eden at least once in his life.
View all comments by rootrat
The Ring massage is well worth a look.
If my beer soaked memory serves me correct, it was an off the menu 2000baht for an hour all in.
I sidestepped the munter with the hammer-jaw and comedy teeth that was talking me through the menu and hinting that she would be more then happy for me to put my prick in her, and picked a slag that was a bit thick round the middle, but had ginormous (is that even a word?) tits, and 1 of the cutest faces Iv seen and wavy black hair which is a big plus for me
Was a pretty impressive lay all in. She was good too. Only downside to the festivities was when i pulled my finger out of her brown to find a little choco-nugget on the end of my index. I smeered it on the wall without raising her suspicion
Made a schoolboy error in giving her my digits, as she hounded me by calling and SMS’ing me at least 3 times a day. I know she was OBVIOUSLY eager for another shot at the champ, but this bordered on creepy
View all comments by Young Penfold
I was the victim of credit card fraud in May, and strongly suspect that Eden Club was the perpertrator. Anyone else have any similar experiences/suspicions?
View all comments by Anon
@ Anon - if true, that would be disappointing to say the least - I have always used cash for P4P fearful of the entry that might turn up on my visa statement:
(Mongering - Bangkok - 2 Sluts…… 3,600 Baht)
View all comments by doctorbond
@ DoctorBond and ssB - I’ve done Eden and I recommend it, for sure, but in my opinion, as I said, the place is like a challenge where you have two girls ready to do everything for 90 min and you have to be at level. And believe me, unless you are a porn star, you will give up before they do!
View all comments by Suk Psycho
Suk is spot on about this although it may put people off when they don’t really need to worry about it - a fit healthy porn star with bags of energy who can throw around a couple of girls for 90 minutes would be the ideal customer. As a punter who often found himself worn out after 40 minutes or so I adopted a couple of remedies - either I gave it my all and then just laid there getting a gentle massage for the remaining time or I stop somewhere in the middle - have a bit of a chat (and often have a cigarette with them - they all seem to smoke) and get back to it for a second session.
I quite enjoy stopping for a while and chatting - at first it seems a bit surreal, then, quite civilised.
The girls have always had more energy than me - ‘deal’ as ssb would say
It’s like leaving food on your plate - if you’ve eaten enough and enjoyed it, who cares
View all comments by doctorbond
Sounds like a good place to visit after the first 10 to 14 days of your BKK. trip! After the first few weeks I get to where I can’t get a nut without the freak factor going way up. So maybe this a reasonable solution to holding a shortimers pace while on a limited stay?
@YP- I’ll keep an eye out for your choco post-it surprise!
hope your doing well!
View all comments by NurseRon
Thanks for a great report, Doc!
I like Eden, because it’s not about drinking, hanging out with your pals, inviting girls out for noodles or drinks or discos or whatever, and all of that stuff is fine, but when you walk into Eden it’s all about The Fucking.
You can find cuter girls, but Doc, I think you captured it when you mentioned how much fun the Eden gals are. A lot of guys either don’t get that, or don’t think it features in the equation. For me, an Eden trip is the Last Thing on the trip-agenda, I max out my Vitamin-V quotient and aim for three orgasms (mine, not theirs: Eden workers will fake it for you, but they’re professionals and you are the client).
It’s a branded-service that’s well run. I have a few tips:
1) I like to go during the day. Well, actually I like to go right before my flight home…I once did a session at Eden followed by a vigorous two-hour Thai massage and all the tension (and connective tissue) in my body seemed to vanish. They practically had to pour me in a taxi (and remember, I don’t drink alcohol…), it was bliss. I got to the airport, sashayed over to Burger King and got a whopPER…”would you like baCON sir?”, yes please, anything with corpuscles in it! Damn.
2) Bring some condoms and fun toys. Small cute gifts for the gals make for better orgasms.
3) Between bouts, ask them about other clients. They have GREAT stories. I like to imitate Japanese clients, that causes great merriment.
4) Think in baht, not other currencies. Thailand has many, much cheaper options. Some guys have said that they’ve taken two girls out of the Soi 7 Beergarden experience and it’s “just as good as Eden.” I beg to differ. The Eden Gals are professionals, they are hard-working, and if treated with respect and good humor (and likely, even if not), they will wring you dry. It’s wall-to-wall sex, it’s all about The Fucking, I like it.
Coupla observations:
a) tipping is always contentious, but as I make sure it’s sanuk for all with laughs/jokes and often bring toys to give away, I tip 200 baht each and have never gotten a grimace. I guess it’s “up to you” but that works for me. Hopefully other gentlemen will comment on their preferred amount.
b) when I lived in Bangkok I didn’t go to Eden. Partly it was because I was fielding a starting rotation of regular-delivery girls (I miss ‘em…ALL), and I liked to wander lower Suk and see what I could find. And yes, I did try the “2-girls-from-Beergarden” once or twice…fun, but definitely not Eden.
c) I like the way they take matters in hand (and other places), but will also take direction. As you pointed out, Doc, it’s a great place to start, especially if you’ve been subjected to decades of oh-how-evil thou-shalt-nottism, and figured that all working girls were what you might see at King’s Cross or San Francisco’s Tenderloin District. There are many options in Bangkok, but Eden offers value-for-money in many situations. You can always hang with your friends and barfine go-go dancers some other night.
JtB
View all comments by Jack the Bat
We have found that telling the P4P girls from go-gos and bars etc how the girls at Ring Bar (and we guess Eden)do their thing is very accepted. And they take it on as what you expect from them.
You can almost reproduce the atmosphere from professionals to learners if you tell your girl what happened in the Ring Bar.
Worked for us!
View all comments by 3amigos
thanks JtB - (corpuscles
)
View all comments by doctorbond
Dr Bond nice report. I have an image of a Tardis blocking the soi while the Timelord gets teabagged.
When we say uninibited what are we talking about gents? Rimjobs, a bit of rough stuff, or just a service with lots of fluid movement and heat?
If they are not that attractive I would need a little extra to pop my cork.
I’m also curious to know in what way the ladies are substandard. Are we talking over the hill, chubby or ugly?
View all comments by milo
“The Eden Club is all about certainties ”
I think that is the main reason why I have avoided Eden so far. There are lots of things in life that I like to be certain about - that my plane will land or night will fall - but sex is one thing that I need some uncertainty about - some amount of unpredictability around it, some mystery of the unknown. I like jumping into it not knowing exactly what I will get. Sure on occasion it turns around and bites you when the sex is just terrible but when you are able to make it work really well with one of these girls its a great feeling - sometimes of surprise, sometimes of just plain awe. It’s the same reason I don’t go to massage parlors where you know the girls will follow steps one thru ten in exactly that order. Sex needs to be spontaneous and combustible or its like ordering food from a Chinese menu. I have had great success in getting two good friends together for threesomes - when you get the right combo its funny, cute, chatty and memorable.
View all comments by Drronin
GOVT. EMERGENCY MEASURES AFFECT EDEN!
In a typically late and stupid attempt to do something (*anything*) about the PAD demonstration crisis, the government has made gatherings of more than five people illegal. So Eden customers should curtail their desires appropriately if they don’t want to die in a hail of gunfire.
This has been a Pants Elk News Information Service (PENIS) announcement.
View all comments by Pants Elk
Ronin- i totally agree.
Pe- i think we need some sort of regular updates from your PENIS.
View all comments by sideshowBOB
Will we also be getting Young Penfold’s ANUS - Auxilary News Update Service?
View all comments by Rene Descartes
@Sideshow Bob re: Time.
Yeah, IMHO it is. 90 min. plus 2 girls with most fantasies short of a snuff flick…..yeah. My first time there was when I had three hours between appointments. Lunch, boom-boom, caressing nap….more-boom-boom, shower and inspected in my best (patted down, tie straightened, brushed and (a big plus) my shoes shined (not to mention Mr. Happy being shined) and I was ready to go.
You can do the same thing at a soapie but at Eden, it just seems more elegant, if that’s the word, to me.
View all comments by The Asian Badger
Eden and elegant in the same sentance - whodathunkit possible?
View all comments by riodon
@riodan…yeah…I was there in the early days…whoa!!!!
View all comments by The Asian Badger
@drbond…
Show up with a crowbar, you get a discount. Show up with TWO crowbars, and they give you the Big Mango “WreckingCru” discount.
Trust me, it works.
Thanks again for the write-up.
View all comments by The Asian Badger
I walked into Eden once, and only once, in early 2005. It was early afternoon, and as soon as my eyes adjusted to the light, I realized I was facing a room full of expectant, and not terribly attractive girls. The space for this was smaller than I expected, and just a little too direct for my tender sensibilities. I turned and fled back into the hot Bangkok afternoon, never to return. It’s hard to imagine that I’d ever try it again, but if anything would ever convince me to, it’s Doc’s appealing write up.
Pants Elk: I always wondered about your name… now I realize that you’ve been planning that joke for all these years and holding it back for just the right moment. Well done.
Now what I’m wondering is if Pants Elk’s PENIS is connected to Penfold’s ANUS? I’ve heard rumours.
View all comments by werewolf
@ PE - ok let me work this one through in my head - groups of no greater than 5? So that means 6 in total is the point at which I hear bolts being drawn back? …………
OK - so a romp with 4 shit-kicking sanuk pussies and live…. or a slightly wilder romp with 5 pole-waxing siam suckers and die in a hail of bullets?
Well, I’ve thought about it and - either is good for me
View all comments by doctorbond
I’ve been looking into this … apparently the “gathering” has to be in public, so you’ll have to drag your carnally-entwined posse out into the street to qualify. To YP, of course, this is par for the course, but your mileage may differ.
View all comments by Pants Elk
SUMMARY: the place is home to some of the ugliest old skanks you’ve ever seen and you’ll leave with the knowledge that you now forever share a sexual history with some of the filthiest pervs ever to step foot inside Thailand. Doctor Bond included.
View all comments by bongo
@bongo - what about the downside?
View all comments by Pants Elk
Whooo Hoooo! - fame at last! - delivered by Anonzo’s cousin.
Bongo, you are either doing P4P or you are not - one place can’t be righteous and the other place damned
View all comments by doctorbond
if u need a downside to go with that, i suspect you are beyond hope.
View all comments by bongo
bongo - I’ll take some curly fries to go with that! And I’ll save you some trouble pondering suspicions about me.. my cholesterol level is already beyond hope.
View all comments by Rene Descartes
We used to call porn ‘bongo’ when I was a lad. As in ‘let’s have a look at your bongo mag’ So I can’t help laugh whenever I see the word, or take it seriosuly.
View all comments by Combover
haha… i like that combover !
View all comments by bongo
Eeee … when I were a lad, we didn’t know what porn was. It may not have existed. We used to go in a supportive gang down to the paper shop to buy a copy of Parade for a pooled shilling, because it had racy photos of half-nude babes (often with their nipples airbrushed out) printed in horrible duotones. Ahhh … happy days … no, hang on, they were miserable days. These days are much better.
View all comments by Pants Elk
Eeeeee - when we were ugly young skanks we used to dreeeeam about paper shops and our parents couldn’t afford nipples - so we used to bare our essentials for a magazine called ‘Parade’ or was it ‘Good Housekeeping Magazine’? Some loada old bongo anyway…
View all comments by Ugly Old Skank
i’ll try everything once!
of all my trip to LOS haven’t been to Eden. don’t know why, maybe I’ll be crushed once I tried Eden cos nothing can top it? and ugly girls? c’mon, they can’t be that bad. i’ve read some forum on Eden (forgot where) and some pics of the girls are quite ok (around 6/7). maybe it depends on luck, the ‘finer’ ones are just not working the day u entered?? if you’re lucky to have the privilege of those girls then book em for the night and have hours and hours of barbaric, no holds bar, kidney busting sex LOL…
when you’re old and all shriveled up in your death bed, u can look back and think of Eden and say….yep, done that, the whole nine yards!! and die a happy man hahaa.
wonder if a BG would gladly follow me to Eden and had her sorted out by the girls there? now..thats a good reason to go to LOS..again!!
View all comments by mrsmokiee
Eden is ok, but too many ugly skanks to get too excited about.
I was a tad shocked when the girl with the 12″ strap-on asked if I wanted it rammed up my ‘wrong-un’ just after she shagged her mate.
Politely, I declined, saying that Penfold would be along shortly.
View all comments by Daywalker
Sure, the lineup at Eden doesn’t quite resemble the models lounge at Poseidon, but then you try and hire a 5′10″ busty Chiang Mai girl who’ll happily take it up the bum from strap-on Somying from Buriram while working her tongue up your jacksie.
The Eden girls are there for their skills and enthusiasm, which sadly the majority of “stunners” either don’t possess, or don’t feel obliged to demonstrate.
I regularly hear from people who’ve shaken their head and decided against it after just walking past, and seeing a few of the girls outside. Which is a bit like deciding not to enter Thailand because you don’t fancy the girl on the immigration desk.
Yes, there are some girls in there who I wouldn’t touch with Young Penfold’s. But there are a fair few honeys too - don’t knock it ’til you’ve tried it.
View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy
“Yes, there are some girls in there who I wouldn’t touch with Young Penfold’s. But there are a fair few honeys too - don’t knock it ’til you’ve tried it.”
- I wouldn’t touch Penfolds.
View all comments by Daywalker
Only because I wouldnt let you DW you fruity fuck.
Your gonna have to put your hand in your pocket for a shot at the champ
View all comments by Young Penfold
Tried the eden one time and won’t bother again.
Not really my cup of cha.
A bit too mechanical at times I thought too.
Don’t get me wrong they could perform but I prefer the getting to know the girl in the bar bollox and taking to my hotel, over picking one who could pick a minger as the other and given 90 mins followed by a knock on the door.
At least I tried it.
View all comments by Jimmy Cricket