As I head off again to SuperBad Airport as part of my endless cycle between Thailand and the UK it is time to reflect on my top 5 loves and hates.
LOVES
- GIRLS - your beauty, your charm, your sexy bodies - where else in the world is ‘female’ more ‘femine’ ?
- FOOD - What wonderful flavours and spices - a holiday for your taste buds, exotic cooking at its best.
- TEMPERATURE - How wonderfully liberating to travel out and about, morning or night, clad in just a T Shirt and a pair shorts.
- MASSAGE - lie back and let these sensual goddesses relax your body and mind as you submit to their caresses.
- TRAVEL - so many exciting ways to get around, from the sophisticated skytrain to the rustic tuk tuk.
HATES
- GIRLS - Shaddup for Gods sake - what’s with all that whining? I didn’t whine that much when I was five!!! … and while we’re at it, grow some breasts.
- FOOD - Does everything have to be a soup and whats with those noodles?… If I wanted to eat something that slimy I’d munch down on a raw frog… and since when was a salad ’spicy’ ?
- TEMPERATURE - What sort of a vacation is it if you can’t move 100 yards without soaking your tenth shirt of the day - my pores are so open I could store meat in them.
- MASSAGE - What gives you the idea I want a cup of tepid nettle tea? And stop putting a soaking wet flannel over my face - that’s ‘waterboarding’ and is banned by the Geneva Convention!
- TRAVEL - Tell you what Mr or Mrs Thai person… why don’t you amble slowly in a zig-zag fashion while I try to get past you on a sidewalk and reach an overpriced Taxi whose driver bears no resemblance to his official photo.
Hey, Doc bond try spending more time of the beaten path of the Nana,Maybe you will see the Thais for who they are,and not what you want them to be.Many of the soups are spicey; So eat some sticky rice Beach. They have some very wonderful teas here just ask a Thai. The travel part learn the back routes or take the sky train.Thailand is number one It may work slowly at timesI do not think that is a bad thing. Hey wolfy where are you haning out tonite. I am game to put the game on. Smitty and pmmp have nothing on me
Trav Man Doooooooooo
View all comments by Trav Man Dooooooooo
“try spending more time of the beaten path of the Nana”
Sounds scary…. that would mean leaving Soi 4?! My nose is bleeding just thinking about it.
View all comments by Daywalker
very funny
View all comments by bo
DB: Love your list of ‘Hates’. Well-written.
View all comments by dj
Good stuff, Doc. BTW, you’d probably have more fun if you traveled to BKK with a crowbar.
Have a good trip.
View all comments by The Asian Badger
@ Trav…. I thought Thailand was just one 3 mile strip called Sukhumvit - there’s more?
@ dw - you ARE soi 4 dw - don’t panic
@ bo, dj & ab - thanks chaps - I tried sneaking in a crow bar but the immigration girl just thought I was pleased to see her
View all comments by doctorbond
Daywalker : Never have I seen a photo by the side of a message that perfectly captures both your looks and mental age…..keep up the good work!!!
View all comments by ChelseaBlue
CB - thought it was his girlfriend in the pic…
View all comments by mart
folks, some serious flaming here, have you had a clown for dinner?
View all comments by mars
CB: You are the lucky one to not only see my pic next to my text, but to also see it in your wallet on the rare occassions you open it.
Mart: Once you go monkey, you never go back.
Doc:.. I’ll reserve a place at the bar… (on Soi 4 obviously)
View all comments by Daywalker
We aussies love the cold towells!
Maybe you get this attention at your local pub.
We don’t get it in Oz. That is why come to TL.
Why whinge so much?
Cooee Cobber
View all comments by 3amigos
We Poms whinge wherever we go - it’s our greatest export
View all comments by doctorbond
I don’t think its actually necessary for a Pom to GO anywhere to whinge anymore than a Koala needs to go anywhere to sleep. It just happens naturally & constantly, interrupted only by short periods of eating.
View all comments by werewolf
POME = Prisoner of Mother England.
View all comments by Young Royal
POM = Pissy Old Men
I wasn’t going to argue with doctorbond’s spelling of his self-description
View all comments by werewolf
I thought it was POHM - Prisoner of Her Majesty - not that this makes any sense, as why would you call visiting Brits Poms?
A historian is needed quick !!!
View all comments by doctorbond
Wikipedia to the rescue…….
“The term pommy or pom is commonly used by speakers of Australian English, New Zealand English, South African English and Afrikaans. It is often shortened to pom. The origin of this term is not confirmed and there are several persistent false etymologies, most being backronyms.
The Oxford English Dictionary (OED) strongly supports the theory that pommy originated as a contraction of “pomegranate”.[1] The OED also suggests that the reason for this is that pomegranate is extinct Australian rhyming slang for immigrant; it cites an article from 14 November 1912, in a once-prominent Australian weekly magazine The Bulletin: “The other day a Pummy Grant (assisted immigrant) was handed a bridle and told to catch a horse.” A popular alternative explanation for the theory that pommy is a contraction of “pomegranate”, relates to the purported frequency of sunburn among British people in Australia, turning their fair skin as the colour of pomegranates.[2] However, there is no hard evidence for the theory regarding sunburn.
A false etymology (or “backronym”) common in both Australia and New Zealand is that pom originated as an acronym for “prisoner of (his/her) majesty” or “prisoner of mother England”. Although many of the first British settlers in Australia were convicts sentenced to transportation to Australia, there is no evidence for this. Some proponents of this theory claim that upon arrival in the country they would be given a uniform with “POHM” or “POME” emblazoned on the back, which apparently stood for Prisoners Of Her Majesty but there are no images or examples of these uniforms.
Other etymologies which are unsupported by evidence include:
“prisoner of Millbank”, after the area of London where prisoners were held prior to transportation;
it is rhyming slang for tommy, international slang for a British soldier;
an acronym for “Port of Melbourne”. However, the term “pommy” was coined long before POM was used as acronym for the port.
comes from “pomme”, French for apple. The joke was that the pale British would turn red, like an apple, with sunburn when they landed in Australia.
Use of the word “pom” remains slightly contentious. Some British people living in Australasia find the term offensive and demeaning, others find it harmless and amusing. Attitudes to the use of the word have varied over the years. In the 1960s, slogans such as “bash a pom a day” were heard on New Zealand radio. In Australia, it was frequently employed in the contemptuous phrase pommy bastard up until about the 1970s, when the wave of postwar British immigration to Australia began to decline; the phrase is rarely heard nowadays. The word has become so common that few Australians and New Zealanders see any reason to avoid using it, some even justifying the use of it as a “term of endearment”. In December 2006, the Advertising Standards Board of Australia unanimously ruled that the word “pom” was a part of the Australian vernacular, and was largely used in a “playful or affectionate” sense. As a consequence, the board ruled that the word did not constitute a racial slur, and could be freely used in advertising. The Board was responding to a complaint filed by a community group called British People Against Racial Discrimination.[3]“
View all comments by Daywalker
When I first arrived in Australia fourteen years ago I was confused by the use of this term, having never heard it before.
As an immigrant trying to learn the local language, I set about asking friends, colleagues and acquaintances what it meant. I heard everything listed in the Wiki article above, as well as several other theories.
Everyone insisted that their particular explanation was correct, and all others mistaken.
I soon learned that no one knows the etymology, but everyone knows the meaning.
Contrary to the Wiki report, the phrase “pommy bastard” is used frequently in Australia, though it is much more a term of endearment than it would seem on the face of it, and its use is perhaps more widespread among a certain segment of the population.
I believe the most widely accepted spelling in Australia would be Pom or Pommy, as evidenced in the latter part of the Wiki article.
I’m glad the Wiki writer referenced the OED, which is known for it’s comprehensive research, else I would have been prone to dismiss the explanations above as just ‘more of the same’.
In any event, doctorbond is the quintessential pommy bastard.
View all comments by werewolf
… and I’m proud of it
dw and ww - you both have too much time on your hands - get out there and shag something
View all comments by doctorbond
Good info Daywalker, I think I read Pomegranate in a James Clavell novel.
Don’t they call Kiwi’s South Sea Poms, because they moan as much as us Brits?
View all comments by Young Royal
The other thing that puzzled me when I first arrived in Australia was being called a “septic”. Talk about confusing!
View all comments by werewolf
“dw and ww - you both have too much time on your hands - get out there and shag something”
- Erm…. WW will have to do that for the both of us. Can’t find any women in the Sahara Desert. And the camels are not into 1 night stands.
View all comments by Daywalker
Septic Tank = Yank, What us Limeys call ya.
View all comments by Young Royal
dw - sorry to hear that - no ‘humping’ for you then
View all comments by doctorbond
YR: Thanks!
My first exposure to the term was 13 years ago, so I’ve learned the meaning in the meantime, but thanks for the assist.
BTW, for lunch tomorrow I may eat a dog’s eye.
View all comments by werewolf
“Overpriced taxi”… in Bangkok… hahahaha you got me right there. If a Thai cabbie charged you 5 times the proper fare, it’d still come up cheaper than with the honest one back in Blighty or Middle-of-nowhere, Ohio.
I really don’t see what’s up with all the taxi complaints… worst I ever got in 2 years here was a clueless chap that took me to arrivals instead of departures on my way to the airport. Still, 30+ km for 250 baht… hardly a ripoff.
View all comments by crocodile
It’s all tongue in cheek Croc…
However, next time I am in the middle of nowhere, Ohio I shall check it out
View all comments by doctorbond
croc - your argument only makes sense if you make money overseas and you come here and feel like it is monopoly money.
if you live here, I do, and earn baht. U care a lot about being ripped off. So for me paying 250 baht for a ride that should cost less than 200 baht is an issue. sure. I am not losing sleep over it but I don’t run around overpaying though.
View all comments by smitty