editor’s note: all links and style fixed. I suck.
As a gentle introduction, let’s start with the scary-looking foreign word - chauvinist.
Merriam-Webster says:
- excessive or blind patriotism — compare jingoism
- undue partiality or attachment to a group or place to which one belongs or has belonged
- an attitude of superiority toward members of the opposite sex; also : behavior expressive of such an attitude
http://www.m-w.com/dictionary/chauvinism
In this instance, we’re clearly concerned with the third definition. Male Chauvinism, it seems, can be described as an attitude of male superiority towards females.
I’m personally male, even though I sometimes disagree with other commenters here, and yes - I believe that my Y-chromosome makes me infinitely superior to not just one woman, but to all of womankind - both individually and collectively.
As an example of my overwhelming superiority, and of the superiority of men everywhere, let’s take a look at our title. Not by the tongue of a strapping be-testicled cunning linguist was this phrase first uttered. No, it’s clearly a female invention.
You see, one of the things that first riled me about feminism, as far back as childhood, was that oh-so-clever phrase, “male chauvinist pig”.
Male - okay, guilty. Chauvinist - fine. Pig - uh… what? I mean, come on. If you’re going to attempt to insult me, at least have the balls, or indeed ovaries, to try to do so in an inventive and amusing manner.
I remember thinking, as a child, that there was something dreadfully wrong with these women. How could they justify the blanket labelling - as a farmyard animal, no less - of people with whose opinions on gender politics they did not agree?
Intellectually, this is on a level with a Republican referring to Democrats as “Dumb-o-crats”, or of fans of the Man City soccer team referring to their arch rivals, Man U, as “Man Poo”. It’s an irrelevant insult that tells us nothing, other than the approximate mental age of the individual in question.
Modern feminists should surely have enough faith in their own convictions to be able to hold a reasoned debate - to engage us, the enemy, in a discussion whereby both sides may end up understand each other a little better.
“No”, they say. “We will stick our fingers in our ears and call them pigs. That ought to do it.”
Which brings me to my point, which is that as I was enthusiastically chomping on my carbon-neutral, fair-trade mung bean and tofu salad last Friday lunchtime, I was perusing The Guardian’s website. For those of you not familiar with the British press, The Guardian is a left-leaning broadsheet daily newspaper, read by middle-class people with beards and sandals, all of whom are called Tarquin or Jemima.
Random Acts of Feminism, said one of the front-page headlines. And, like a fool, I clicked.
Gentlemen, I was astounded. Wendy Roby, by way of the splendidly hippyish “Random Acts of Kindness” of Professor Chuck Wall, clumsily but astonishingly comes around not to approaching the great gender debate, nor even to lay out her beliefs, but to make the suggestion that modern radical feminism might be best served by a campaign of vandalism, graffiti and the abandonment of female pubic grooming.
Here are my three favourite examples of Wendy’s womanly wisdom, but please do read her piece for yourself. It’s gut-wrenchingly embarrassing.
- What to do when you see a “lad’s mag” in a shop“Lad’s mag” is British parlance for a magazine along the lines of FHM, Nuts or Maxim, usually featuring a scantily-clad hot chick on the cover. Inside, the discerning reader can look forward to articles about cool stuff, fast cars, and hot chicks. Because men like cool stuff, fast cars, and hot chicks. Duh.
Initially, Wendy suggests that good feminists should, and I can’t quite believe I’m going to say this, “ferret out some copies of Good Housekeeping and Mary Beth’s Beanie World, and put these nice homely publications neatly at the front of the racks, obscuring the latest lads’ mags. You don’t even have to touch the hateful things!”At this point, I decided that Wendy Roby was clearly a pseudonym for one of us, and that the article was in fact a delicious satire on the idiocy of petty-minded neo-feminists. And so I typed “Wendy Roby” into Google. To my horror, I discovered that she is real. Not only is she real, but she has fans. I discovered articles of nodding approval from presumably-big-boned correspondents at UK feminist websites The F Word and Feminasty. Dear god.
“[D]raw a speech bubble ready to animate one of the pouting cover girls”, suggests Wendy. “It might say, ‘I am somebody’s sister’, or ‘Despite my come-hither expression, I wouldn’t shag a Nuts reader for a million pounds’.”
“Somebody’s sister”? What difference does that make? If a hot chick has a sister, who’s also a hot chick, we simply lust after both of them. Extra marks for twins.
And given that FHM covergirl Sophie Anderton recently got caught offering to shag an undercover journalist for just ten grand, I’d advise against the latter suggestion, too.
Astonishingly, Wendy does not mention traditional pornographic magazines. So presumably they’re okay.
- What to do when your minge is a mess“When the boyfriend of Christine from London started making crude hints about her bikini wax being overdue [...] she decided that it was time to let her hair flourish.”"‘In this case,’ she writes, ‘two weeks was enough to prove the point’. (Said boyfriend has since been banished.)”
The mind boggles. I suspect that the now ex-boyfriend was rather relieved to be “banished”, and would like to think that he has now found a nice girl who doesn’t have a muff like Bob Geldof’s hair.
- Amend offensive graffiti
“The WCs of Britain’s clubs and pubs might also be a nice place to awaken some solidarity. Whenever I see something nasty scrawled on the back of a toilet door, I like to add amendments of my own. It only takes a second - and a handy marker pen - to transform something mean-spirited.”“Cross out the ‘c’ and the ‘h’, for example, and ‘Jilly is a bitch’ can quickly be changed to ‘Jilly is a bit of a genius’.”
I cannot even begin to contemplate commenting on this suggestion. The woman is clearly insane.
Readers, if there really is a gender war being waged by neo-feminists, I think they just lost it. This website’s very own glabrous gigolo, pmmp, observed that here in Thailand, despite Thai women being victims of the Thai education system, they’ve managed to figure it out. Critical feminist theory would be an alien concept to most of them, and yet they run the place.
If anyone deserves ridicule and unglamourous labels, it’s the Western women who focus their sense of frustration at their own failures on some entirely imaginary global conspiracy of male supremacists. We’re not a conspiracy, dearie. We’re just rather more focused than you are.
See, if we don’t approve of something, we won’t resort to petty-minded vandalism or idiocy - we’ll do something about it. We didn’t approve of most Western women, which is why we sprang to action and came here. Given the abject lack of justification for labelling me a pig, I’m going to correct it.
Which is why, from now on, I’m going to refer to myself as a Male Chauvinist Awesome Dude. I suggest readers do the same.
I’ll be first to jump on the bandwagon here but I’m sure that’s no surprise. These women disgust me and in the end do more harm to women than good. Men get disgusted with them and resentment usually follows.
The way they go about it is all wrong as you point out. There’s a pretty old saying about “two wrongs don’t make a right” which can certainly be applied here. I mean think of the shop owner whose magazines they are reorganizing. They may lose money when they don’t sell a few “legal” copies of adult magazines. The shop owner hasn’t done anything wrong yet you’re punishing them? What if the shop owner is a woman would Wendy still mess with the business?
My guess is that Wendy writes what she does because it brings her notoriety and cash. Her audience of miserable women eat it up to make them fell better about themselves after possibly being treated badly by a man, much like they stuff themselves with twinkies or a sack of McDonalds.
Wendy, her following, and western women in general are obsolete. IMHO
View all comments by pmmp
Actually, reading the comments from Wendy Roby has caused me to radically re-assess my life and choices.
I am now repentant for all the times I have lusted after slender girls with radiants visages, and all the times I have gone to the hardware store and spent money on tools that I didn’t really need. From this point on I’m going to devote my life to being more sensitive to the needs of others and making the world a better place.
Anyway, all the money I save on magazines and tools should pay for a couple extra blow jobs at Star of Light every month.
View all comments by werewolf
I don’t see what the big deal is. Men and women are different. Both have different strengths and weaknesses. Both are pretty confident in their superiority. This argument reminds me of the special olympics………
Yeah, I think men are on top for a reason (harder to argue with a couple thousand years of history) and have my prejudices against women. The first key is to not let women know you look down on their kind.
The second key is not let them win. If you give and do something stupid, such as MARRY one, it’s pretty hard to argue that your kind is superior… you’re still the dumbass who was outsmarted. Just sounds like a sore loser at that point.
How many men have been outsmarted by a chick?
My hope is that internet pornography will help men all over the world reduce their ‘dependence’ on women.
Or, for a more low tech solution, a Lolitas branch (or two) for every medium to large city in the world.
It could be a new UN program such UNESCO or UNAIDS… UNBJ!
View all comments by Paul
pmmp: “western women in general are obsolete”. Your mother too?
For me, I don’t like to make a male/female war out of it. I have a personal preference for Asian women, which actually does not make my life easier, but I enjoy the challenges it brings along. I know many nice Western women. We just don’t need those hordes of neurotic feminists that wander the streets in search of male flesh for their next meal.
UNBJ, yeah, that would be it
View all comments by Phoenix
The ex-girlfriend (farangette) of a friend of mine in BKK visited him recently, and told him she was looking for a job in an NGO to fight the “appalling problem of child prostitution in Thailand”. My friend said “what child prostitution?” and she replied (condescendingly - ie as a white woman) “it’s everywhere, you just don’t see it.” As anybody with any knowledge of the P4P scene in Bangkok knows, and my friend has a deeper knowledge than most, if a “child prostitution problem” exists in Bangkok (to any greater extent than in any other capital city) it’s extremely well hidden, and probably doesn’t serve the sex tourist. But here we have another issue-obsessed ignoramus bringing her baggage of prejudice and plain old-fashioned women’s RIGHTNESS to a country and culture of which she has no understanding whatsoever. I’m absolutely certain she’s a Guardian reader, too.
View all comments by Pants Elk
phoenix: It was a bit of an over-generalization. I meant to say western women with the same ideals. Oh, and the next time you bring my mother into I will blow up Phoenix, Arizona. Wait, my mother lives there so forget that.
View all comments by pmmp
Here are some comments from another blog I follow that I thought would be of interest to this post.
http://blogs.honoluluadvertiser.com/dailydish.php/2008/01/22/the_high_price_of_paradise#comments
The topic of the post was the possibility of purchasing a home with a median income amongst the soaring real estate prices.
Comment from: Alexandra [Visitor]
Cat!- Take the easy route, and marry someone R$CH…thats the best advice I could give you. Dont waste the rest of your life suffering, after all, you wont be eye candy forever, take advantage while you got the looks now. Yes, right now, go find yourself someone that is financially secure, you will not regret it.
01/22/08 @ 14:01
Comment from: Manoa Mist [Visitor]
Jayme, HOP and Alexandra are right on the money.
You got the looks, Cat. Use ‘em to get that house you always wanted. You can always divorce and marry for love the second time around.
At least you’ll be in the housing game that way!
01/22/08 @ 14:52
Comment from: Robin [Visitor]
Jayme, HOP, Alexandra, and Manoa Mist,
My co-worker’s nephew was going out with a fellow flight attendant who was a Cherry Blossom contestant. She ended up dumping him and soon after married a doctor. JACKPOT!
01/22/08 @ 15:04
So what we have here are western females recommending to another western female to marry rich, file for divorce, claim a free home, then marry for love. Familiar? Wow, sounds like a crooked Thai bargirl scheme!
And they wonder why they are treated like the skanks they are.
View all comments by anon
pmmp: Me being a role model for the definition of the Oedipus Complex can understand your feelings after I mentioned your mother, sorry for that. Can I still come over for a cheeseburger next time I am in BKK? Wouldn’t know where elso to go for that.
And yes, women with that thinking also annoy me. And they can be found in much more abundance in Farangland than in Asia. But I usually just smile at such feminist blah-blah and don’t take them serious.
Anon: Yes, typical BG sheme. Just too sad so many men fall for that trick in Thailand or in Farangland. But… besides the betrayer there is also always the one who let’s someone betray him. So no whining about those bad, bad (Thai) women is needed like e.g. on so many articles on the Stickman site. Be smarter from the start or at least next time would be my advice to those who considers self-pity a mature way of dealing with life. There are just too many of such men around… in Thailand and Farangland alike.
View all comments by Phoenix
I am a Guardian reader
No beard and no sandals - am I just not playing the game?
Excellent post - it’s just a game you see - men strut about, puff out their chests, swagger and run the world. Women simper, giggle while adjusting their make-up and assume the doggy position when required. That way, everybody was happy.
Then a few fat and ugly chicks found out that when they simpered, men threw up and when they assumed the doggie position, not even dogs were interested. So they started to complain …. loudly…. and the rest is history.
View all comments by doctorbond
“Wendy does not mention traditional pornographic magazines. So presumably they’re okay.”
By not mentioning these mags Wendy Roby effectively gives the game away. Doctor Bond’s “threw up and when they assumed the doggie position, not even dogs were interested.” observation, although dead on, is one aspect of this story.
As the horrendous link/ posts from “anon” graphically demonstrate clearly that women shamelessly “objectify” the trappings and means to material success every bit as enthusiastically as we stare at a good bum or a great rack.. . . but with far more horrific consequences. (see above - talk to your friends)
“Lad”- mags by lads from lads and for lads- celebrate unequivocally and without any of the the sneaky, cowardly, hiding behind “issues” skulduggery of the wimmin’s movement, that there exists a direct link between a woman’s actually pleasing us and her subsequently being rewarded with some of the stuff we work so hard for.
Our stuff is NOT a woman’s right.
What a fukcing concept, eh?
FHM, Stuff, Esquire? GQ? and the like, in reinforcing this connection between DESIRABLE women and “nice stuff” effectively blow the game for an entire majority mob of freeloading hosebags who hope to compensate for their lack of desirability with a substitution of specious reasoning, schoolyard sophistry, and screaming tantrums. They have succeeded in transforming their tiresome “gimme gimme gimme issues” into a political posture which permeates every aspect of our lives. It has driven a great many men to profound despair. We here the stiries all the time.
The tide started to turn quietly at about the same time. Post- feminist women, cheap air travel on the one hand and our wily man-brains and our common sense on the other have saved the day for us.
The lucky ones among us have escaped the stifling bonds of this horrific feminist orthodoxy.
Cheers lads. Good on ya.
View all comments by thongsuk
Thongsuk: Your posts can be a hard read for non-native English speakers, the one above topping all previous ones, imho.
How about offering a summary of each of your posts using only a range of 100 basic vocabularies? The outcome could be like “Women suck”, “I agree with XXX”, “WTF”, or “Me horny”
My dictionary is already half destroyed from trying to understand your post. But we grow through challenges, don’t we?
Thank you for giving me this opportunity, teacher Thongsuk 
View all comments by Phoenix
Phoenix: Dude, does Giorgio Armani do velour sweats for the Jersey mob ;-? . . . . . Pssh, I don’t think so
So I, um, leave out a few commas and tend to stray somewhat from syntactical orthodoxy
I should really edit or something before I click “Submit.”
Those horrendous link/posts from “anon” graphically and clearly demonstrate that women shamelessly “objectify” the trappings and the means to material success every bit as enthusiastically as men stare at great asses or fabulous tits.
These entitlement driven and feminist inspired objectifications” however, produce far more horrific consequences than do my innocent leers at tits and ass. (see above - talk to your friends)
“Lad” mags - (magazines from lads, by lads, and for lads) celebrate unequivocally and without any of the the sneaky, cowardly, hiding- behind -“issues” skulduggery of the wimmin’s movement, that there exists a direct link between a woman’s actually pleasing us and her subsequently being rewarded with a share of the stuff we work so hard for.
Apologies Phoenix. I tend to draft and post. Maybe you’re right. . . . but I just don’t do “Women suck”, “I agree with XXX”, “WTF”, or “Me horny”
N-n-n-n-n-kasaaaaay 
View all comments by thongsuk
Just from reading the comments I assume everyone here has had at least one very messy devoice. Or grew up on communal farm with only butch lesbians and hippie feminist. Otherwise I don’t understand how in the world this is your view on western women.
View all comments by yesman
Hi Yesm’am: Hon. We, like you, are mostly good people. C’mon out and talk with us as a real, post-feminist woman.
Our minds are not closed to debate.
We are not hostile to reason.
We don’t bite unless bitten, snarled at, or insulted.
But believe me, at this stage of the game, any women who out of some notion of entitlement, pulls ANY of the above nonsense risks ending the dialog before it even begins.
Some of us here, by virtue of age, personal finances and/or mindset, are more able to explore Thailand as an alternative to the HELL we endured and we see our brothers enduring in the West.
We’ve escaped.
Think of this choice as an alternative lifestyle if it makes you feel better. We never hear women bitching about gays and what they’re into. That’s conceded ground isn’t it. Well maybe we we don’t like the way you eye our stuff, OK?
We’ve bolted.
We are just as disappointed in the state of man-life in the west as you appear to be with the lifestyle choices we celebrate here.
We’ve bailed.
I wanna know why women feel OK talking “straight” with gay men but they can’t be civil or objective about OUR reasons for choosing to celebrate life in places like this.
I wanna know why they hate our freedom
Take it to the forum if you’d like, away from prying eyes.
But I’d prefer you were OUT and clear as a woman before I continue this. Your “man-handle” just makes you appear sneaky and dishonest and creates unnecessary obfuscation of what could be a civil exchange of ideas.
View all comments by thongsuk
@yesman: No divorces here, FYI. I think the author was expressing his views on the neo-feminist idiots cited in the article, rather than a blanket view on all western women.
There are still some good ones out there. But as a percentage of the female population of (in my case) the UK, their numbers are dwindling. Compared to Thailand, they’re miniscule. Much better odds here, and none of the feminist bullshit cited above.
The comments linked by “anon” above are horrifying.
View all comments by TAFKABBB
My second (and, believe me) last wife is still trying everything she can to get my share of the house from me. And she’s stolen money from my bank account, made totally unfounded but really troubling allegations to the police, and, I now know, was only ever into me for the money. This marriage has soured western women for ever for me. I went into the relationship giving everything I had, and ended getting beaten up. So now it’s five am in Bangkok, and I’m feeling lucky to be alive. But it was a close-run thing - there’s nothing more devastating than an attack from someone you love. Dumb old me, that loving thing. Bitter? Yes and no. I no longer see any meaning in marriage. In spite of what the feminists say, it’s an institution that favours the female. I can see why a woman would want to get married, but why the fuck do we? I cannot think of a single reason other than the momentary illusion of love (as pleasant as it is at the time). If anyone out there (of any persuasion, sexual or political) can think of one single good reason why a man should marry, there’s plenty of space in this comments section to tap it out for all to see. One reason. Just one. Come on. Let’s make it easy. Come up with one not-even-great reason why a man should marry. One half-assed unconvincing shallow excuse for a reason. Anything. Anybody?
View all comments by Pants Elk
@Pants: Good luck and courage through this horrible ordeal.
First: Step outside into the cool January air and get ten deep breaths into you. (This really does help.)
Next, I’d suggest a regimen of diet and exercise that excludes drugs or alcohol. You will sleep better and you will save money.
This is only to be a temporary remedy.
Men should only marry for the same reason women do. . . . . money or its corollary . . . . power. Everything else stings.
View all comments by Prufrock
maybe i’m old fashioned, but i think the best reason for marriage (and perhaps the only one) is for having children. The best environment for a child (all else being equal) has to be a two-parent family - of course, that assumes that the parents actually enjoy being with each other (at least until the kids are 18+).
then again, what do i know? the prospect of having kids still scares the hell out of me.
View all comments by go go groupie
pe: three good reasons from ggg and prufrock. If you don’t want children though, already have money, and you’re not interested in power then the only other reasons I can think of are that you are a masochist, have a very small penis, you are mentally ill, you want to help out somebody trying to get a visa in return for crazy sexual favors, or they are holding your loved one’s hostage if you don’t.
View all comments by pmmp
Thanks, prufers. This has been going on for a year now, and I’m stronger than I was, thanks in no small part to Bangkok and the community here.
If marriage could bring a man money or power, I’d agree those are good reasons. Because they’re the reasons women get married. But because this scenario is unlikely, to say the least, they hardly qualify as reasons. Find a woman prepared to give you power or money through a marriage contract? Good luck down at the lonely hearts bureau, pal!
Similarly, having kids is not a reason (leave alone a good one) to get married. Kids need a stable home environment, sure, but that’s not something the marriage contract enables, it’s something it tries to enforce. If your relationship needs legal enforcement to keep it together, the kids are going to suffer anyway.
In no other sphere of life does a man so easily and foolishly sign away his fundamental rights as an individual as when he signs the marriage contract. Imagine similar punitive retraint and restriction being part of your employment contract! You’d never take the job!
That t-shirt currently being modeled up and down Suk St - the pictogram of a wedding couple with GAME OVER underneath - is too true to be remotely funny.
View all comments by Pants Elk
@ thongsuk I don’t know why my comment made you think thaqt I am a women. Is it because no man would ever say that? I am a guy and have been to Thailand a few times. I wish there was a way I could prove my indenty. But I can’t so lets drop it cause no one wants to listen to us go back and forth on it. And I don’t know what a post feminist women is.
@ TAFKABBB. It may not have been a blanket statement about western women but it sure sounded like it. I grew up in north america and have traveled and work in Europe and asia. And I wouldn’t say that thai women are any more suited for long term relationship then women back home.I mean this in the sense of the percentage of western women I have
met vs the percentage of Thai women I have met.
Some people get married because they are happier in a relationship. And have found someone they love and want to have a family with. Believe it or not there are people like this in the world.Just so you know.
View all comments by yesman
“I wish there was a way I could prove my indenty.”
1. Do the urinal quiz?
2. Explain what it feels like getting hit in the balls?
3. Answer the question: “Do you find Julia Roberts attractive”?
View all comments by bibblies
Reason for getting married….
Fed-up with being happy?
View all comments by day walker
Reason for getting married…
” Man she said she was on the pill…”
View all comments by yesman