The FARANG Speaks 2 Much (tfs2m)

editor’s note: Many thanks to Orion for documenting his night out. We have been very busy lately with p4 and all so the partying time has been a little more limited than normal. So cheers to any of our readers who can write in some night life posts to help bring up the slack. Looks like I need to hit Ratchada sooner than I had planned.

After warming up at Nana we headed out at around 10pm to start a night of exploring the nightlife on Ratchada. We started at the White House on Ratchada Soi Seafood. The place has that kitsch ‘90s Thai pre economy crash interior with Greek temple pillars and chandeliers. I have a membership there but hadn’t been in a while and was surprised to see it was almost empty considering it’s a Saturday night. The sales lady who usually takes care of me said it was quiet because it’s raining but I think they are struggling to compete with the likes of Forte and Sopranos. Sopranos was packed the Friday night before and it was raining twice as hard. I think this place is in need of a make over and will probably keep going down hill until they modernize the place. In spite of there not being a lot of customers there are a lot of girls, many of them as hot as anywhere and they dress very sexy. They hang around the bar in packs of 10 and they are very approachable, I also noticed that a lot of girls speak English quite well.

The entertainment consisted of a Thai band doing hip-hop covers, bartenders setting the bar on fire and juggling bottles and rounds of coyote dancing. The coyote rounds are frequent and very hot.

The prices for drinks are lower than at other G-Clubs and since they are happy to have any customer the service is good and there is little pressure to spend money. This with their abundance of hot girls makes the White House a good “coyote for beginners” or “coyote on a budget” place. If going out on Ratchada the White House is a pretty decent place to start the evening.

The sales lady told me her boss had opened a new after hours place called Eclipse and gave me a flyer with a 2000 baht drink coupon. More on Eclipse later…

At 11:30 pm we decided to head out to Bar Yan Tree. I have been hearing good things about this place and wanted to check it out. When I told the coyote girl where I was going she got excited and asked if she could go with me. Apparently the White House girls can be barfined for the price of 5 lady drinks. Good to know, but on Saturday nights I am Han Solo and don’t like to carry baggage so I declined.

The Bar Yan Tree is within walking distance from the White House around the corner behind the Esplanade Mall. The place has two separate halls. When we walked in we went into the one on the right first. I was delighted to find what is probably the best nightclub setup I have seen in Bangkok. There is a good sized bottom lit dance floor with tables and stools around the outer side. Behind the tables there is a spacious walkway with sofas along the wall. The place is not too dark thanks to the bottom lit dance floor. This setup is great for skirt predators because you are able to roam freely to locate and stalk your prey. Every table is easily accessible so if you see something you like it’s easy to close in and make some eye contact before you go in for the kill. They play hip-hop music and the DJ’s are pretty good.

It was still a little quiet so after finishing our first beer we decided to check out the other hall and take look in Inch.

The second hall in Bar Yan Tree has wall to wall tables, no dance floor and pitch dark. There was a Thai live band and the music was turned up way too loud. Not our cup of tea so we u-turned our way out of there.

We walked over to Inch club next door. This place also has two halls and when we were there they were playing hip-hip in both halls. One of them has a stage with drums so I assume they play live music there. Both halls have the popular Thai “wall to wall tables without a dance floor in the dark” theme which I don’t care for so we left without buying a drink and returned to Bar Yan Tree, got ourselves a table by the dance floor and ordered a bottle of whiskey.

We had a lot of fun in Bar Yan Tree. The crowd is good, the people are friendly and it is easy to mingle and talk with girls. Unfortunately there were not that many stunners but there were cute girls nonetheless. At 2am I got hungry so we decided to get a bite to eat before exploring the after hours action. On our way out we bumped into the girl from the table next to us, obvious ambush. She gave me a big smile, said she liked me and asked for my phone number. She had a cute face but was a little overweight. I politely gave my number and was sure to get hers too, so I’d know not to answer when she called editor’s note: great tip!

After a meal at the seafood restaurant next to the White House we went to check out the Eclipse after hours club. It is located at the end of Soi Seafood on the left. The waiter at the door took us to a table and I handed over the drink coupon, he returned with a bottle of Black Label and mixers. The coupon covered both the whiskey and the mixers, not a bad freebie.

Eclipse is dark, has a low ceiling, lots of smoke, lasers and strobes. It has a small dance floor in front of the DJ booth but it’s mostly an obstacle course of tables and stools. It was pretty busy. Immediately a suspicious looking girl from the next table came over and started talking to me. She looked like a ladyboy but her voice sounded like a real girl, I couldn’t work it out. She introduced me to a Thai guy from her table who was obviously on drugs and way too happy to meet me. I had a good look around and noticed that all tables directly around us were occupied by ladyboys and gay guys. Looking beyond our immediate area I saw a mixed crowd of gay guys, angry looking Thai mafia type tough guys and some groups of cute chicks who were dancing way too hard, obviously fueled by something else than just whiskey… It was an interesting freak show to watch but not interesting enough to occupy the rest of our night so I asked the water to check my bottle and give me a bottle card, which I’m sure I wont use again.

It was somewhere between 2 and 3am and we weren’t ready to call it quits yet. I have been hearing about a place called Renovate that I’ve been wanting to check out but had no clue where it’s located. I asked several taxi drivers but they never heard of it. The fourth taxi didn’t know of it but offered to check with his radio so we hopped in the back. Sure enough, the pleasant sounding lady on the radio knew were it is and gave him directions. editor’s note: All of Thailand. Geared for partying. Gotta love it!
Here is how to get there:

Coming from the White House make a U-Turn at the Ratchada - Suthisarn intersection (the intersection after Poseidon) and drive back in the direction of Rama 9. You’ll pass a hotel called The Grand Ayudhaya Hotel on your left. Next to this hotel there is a sports car dealership with Ferrari’s, Lamborghini’s and Porsches in the show room and an open lot with used cars. Renovate is directly behind this used car lot.

When we arrived at the entrance I bumped into the chubby girl who had asked my phone number earlier, she looked surprised but not happy to see me. She turned around and latched onto a Thai guy. Aha, Thai boyfriend, hence the outside ambush earlier. Happy about not having to deal with her we headed inside.

Renovate is a pretty large club with a high ceiling, good lighting, nice modern décor and not too dark. Lot’s and lot’s of hot chicks! The layout is good and would be easy to navigate but when we arrived it was so crowded I could barely squeeze in through the door. Saturday is probably not the best night to go here because it is just too busy.

We spent some time inside looking around but there was no way we were going to find a seat and were getting too drunk to keep standing up. Renovate has an outside sitting area which was not too busy so we settled for an outside seat and watched the girls come and go. There are some freelancers standing around the outside sitting area.

They started playing slower songs close to 5am and people started leaving. Not sure of the taxi situation we decided to leave before the main crowd and headed home.

Renovate is a great club with lots of hot chicks, but Saturday it’s just too crowded. I will definitely return on a weekday to revisit this place.