The FARANG Speaks 2 Much (tfs2m)

Well the crackdown continues. Not sure what else to say but everything appears to be closing anywhere from 1-3 in the morning. Some people said Spicy was starting to stay open late but even places like NEP and Cowboy are closing at 1. So lame. Discuss on the forum if u have anything to add.

People have been saying this is all going to blow over but I don’t think so. Look what is happening in Pattaya. Now that they will keep the after-hours scene from getting going - what will they do to keep the girls off of the streets?

Dumb things. It’s pretty easy in Thailand to write about the dumb things. So easy I mostly stopped but I found a new dumb thing and I can’t pass it up.

Here are some previous dumb things I wrote about.

Alcohol advertising ban. Sour candies to save drowsy motorists. Minister of Tech who does not use email.

There are so many of these events one could start a blog about them.

Before I get to the new dumb thing I wanted to talk about jobs I would hate to have.

#1 The Fitness First sales people working the BTS stations:

I am sure if you have ever used the BTS you have seen them. The Fitness First army looking for people to sell gym memberships to. I have been trying to figure out how they pick who to sell to. Almost every time I see them go for the women. I guess they assume women are the ones most concerned about looking good. In Thailand that would be followed by ladyboys and gay guys.

So usually they go for the girls. One would think they would target the really fat Thai girls who obviously need the gym the most. But they don’t. I am sure they can’t really since that would just be so obvious. Hey you. Super fattie. How about joining the gym and laying off the deep fried chicken and sticky rice? Fat girl keeps walking. Hey - thunder thighs. Talking to you. See - they can’t target the fatties. It just would not be politically correct.

They can’t go for the good looking girls or fit hotties. They are already in the gym or don’t need it to being with. Could be the somtum with yaabaa diet but who knows.

So who is left? The tweeners. The not so fat ones that make the targeting look obvious. The ones that look like they might be receptive to the gym but not in such a glaringly obvious way. Okay. That makes sense but my guess is these women are the last ones that want to be stopped and asked if they want to join the gym. Why? Well then it blows there cover since they look okay and know they may need the gym but would hate to admit it. So the salespeople let the fatties thunder by and the fitties slither away but have to stop the tweeners and push the gym. It must suck all the way around.

Moving on. I always hate it when websites devote an entire article to places but won’t say where the place is or what it is named. That happened once here with the Bangkok Post. Now the Asia Times writes a piece discussing some place with foreign hookers and plays it up so much but refuses to say where it is. I assume it is in Bangkok but who knows. I am looking around for Tito so I can find out where this place is.

Okay. Back to dumb things.

”I think the VAT is quite fair. It’s just the tourists who pay, don’t they? Other people don’t have any problem,” she said in all seriousness.

Jesus H Christ. Who the hell is saying this? It would be okay if this was coming from Britney Spears’s mouth as she was doing some candid interview about the world’s economic ills. Or let’s say it was some tourist in the Bangkok airport being asked about Duty Free Shopping. Hell. Maybe it is my mom answering a question regarding how she feels about Thailand.

But no. This is coming from the new Finance Minister. She was being asked about how VAT effects the poor in Thailand. So the new lady in charge of all things finance thinks that only tourists are effected by VAT? I guess she forgot that tourists get a VAT refund but the locals don’t. It gets better though. She never even went to school for accounting or finance. She is a nurse. Nice. She is probably going to get her stethoscope out and use it on the central bank’s door to see if she can diagnose the strong baht.

Please. Nothing personal to this newly elected official but I am sure the financial wizards of the world are licking their chops when stuff like this gets printed. Can you say volatility?

Given my background as a budding gynecologist I am putting in for Bernanke’s job.

However. Let me leave you with the confidence that at least the new minister can use the internet.

”I am trying to learn about everything that is under my responsibility. As soon as I learned about my appointment, I did a search on the internet to see what the Finance Ministry actually does,” she said. Not the most reassuring answer, but certainly an honest one.

Someone should quickly build the wiki page - How to be a Finance Minister in a Banana Republic.

I am sure she will reference it.