Between blow by blow election coverage, consoling myself after the loss of the MCLame breakfast menu and prohibition - I just have not had time to do much but I did have some fun last week that I thought I would share. The election is over and we can all get back to our regularly scheduled habits. Asia Times has some coverage of it all today and it is pretty interesting. Hopefully things will stay calm but I really wonder if any of this will allow Thailand to actually move forward. High season is here but most people will tell you this is one of the worst months on record in a while. The multiple no drinking days pretty much kills the bar biz.
Seems friskodude is glued to our top notch election coverage but still no inclusion of our site on his Thailand blogroll. DTR is not there either though so we both must be doing something right. I will press on.
Can someone help me understand the MRT, the underground train, security situation? First off - why the MRT but not the BTS? Seems a bomb - I assume this is what they are trying to keep me from bringing on to the train would hurt as much people on the MRT as it would the BTS. In fact, most times the BTS is busier than the MRT. More tourists on the BTS as well. There is only security checking bags on the MRT though. Frankly I think the presence of security guards pretending to check bags but doing a half-ass job of it actually makes people feel less safe than doing nothing at all.
The other day I was in the Bang Sue area looking for some more furniture. If you recall - I have made this trek before. There is 1 or 2 streets in this area devoted to killing trees. Sorry - I mean making wood furniture. I was in the area again looking for some new stuff. I got some pics and some prices and headed back but before I finished the street I found a cool mirror for my girl. I bought it for her. We boxed it all up and taped the hell out of the box. I jumped on a motorcycle taxi and headed to the MRT. Bang Sue station. I walked up and of course the security guard wanted to see what was in the box. Shit. All taped up. He said no problem - he would scan it. Of course being a mirror it sent the scanner into a full scale convulsion. He asked what it was and I told him in Thai. gra johk. I even wrote it on the box so he would not be confused with my speaking. No go. He said open it. Honestly I would have let him but one needed a knife to open it. I did not have one. I mean I am too busy smuggling things on trains to walk around with a sharp, much more dangerous item like a knife. I asked if he had a knife to cut it open. No. He told me again to open it. At this point people were getting miffed so I stepped aside. Then another security guard was summoned to go through the drill again.
I told both of them what it was and they could cut it open but they said I had to open it. Okay but once again there was no knife for me to open it so I gave up. Took a taxi to the nearest BTS station and walked right on. Tell me again - what is the difference? Makes no sense at all to me. Could it be that because they are run by separate companies that the MRT pays for guards to check bags but the BTS does not? Honestly, I just don’t get it. In fact one of my friends who always carries a huge shoulder bag makes a point of opening his bag about a centimeter and the guard looks through the peephole and verifies the bag is safe. X ray vision I guess. I watched a family of four today get on the MRT and with a jammed zipper never opened up one of the bags. They did not scan it either. Baffling.
Member club lottery. I figure you have to play it to win. Become a member. Go every once in a while. Buy ladydrinks but not a ton. Yes - the girls will drink out of your booze but will still ask now and then for a proper ladydrink. Buy one. Then tell her the next one is on the fat Singaporean dude in the corner and that as soon as she drinks his drink she should come back and sit with you. Works fine. Anyway. U go a few times. Buy drinks. Perv ass. Enjoy. Bag a few numbers. Eventually u will win member club lottery.
I was at Spicy the other night and was hammered but feeling good. I was chatting up an Udon darkie and decided to do the deal. 3500 baht she professed. I was like - is that for you and your friend and hopefully your young sister? I said 1500. She laughed and said 3000. I laughed and said I hope she planned on cleaning my apartment and getting that ironing done. Got some dust bunnies that need attending to as well. 2000 tops baby. She said 2500 for ST. I walked away. She followed me to continue the bargaining but I said to get lost. Spicy. High season. Luving it.
Anyway. The bat phone gets a text message. “U busy?”. Member club girl I have yet to shag.
No. I am not busy. She writes back that she is drunk and lonely.
I immediately exit Spicy and their overcharging Udon slappers to ring up the girl. She said she was at her top secret apartment and lonely. I was more curious about the top secret apartment than anything but of course I would not mind getting some. She said that her Thai sponsor pays for a small room for shagging her in Ratchada but that he was out of town until after the new year. Perfect. A free shag and a free room. How can I pass.
I jump in a cab and head to Ratchada Soi XX and she is waiting downstairs to let me in. We both go upstairs only to pass out but things are looking good in the morning after the joint shower. Deed done. I go to leave and discover I have no money. Zero. I must have given the last of it to the taxi driver but I don’t remember how much I had anyway. Wasted. I glance over at the table by her TV, see red and ask if I can borrow 100 baht. She bounces over to hand it to me and gives me another kiss. Everyone is happy.
I guess the market had spoken. I am worth 100 baht. Better than I suspected really.
I walked down the soi and headed to what I thought was Ratchada. Hungover and in pain from the sun, I finally hit the street and discover a familiar landmark to help me get my bearings. I love this town.
Your fiction keeps getting better and better.
Any plans to return to non-fiction writing?
View all comments by Jack Dawson
You whore.
View all comments by Daywalker
Lazy blogger will soon update blogroll…
View all comments by FriskoDude
I have always loved the security you see at some of the hotels and shopping malls, too. You know, where some clueless dude runs a mirror on a pole around under your car before they let you drive in. What do you suppose they think they are going to see? I’d bet you could have a nuclear weapon strapped under there and they’d just walk on around the car, then salute and raise the barrier. I’ve always wanted to tape a box underneath the car with ‘BOMB’ written on it in red letters. Ten to one not one of these half wit rent-a-cops would even blink.
View all comments by Old Asia Hand
I’ve invested in one of those mirror-on-a-pole dealies for the lesbian show at Suzie Wong’s.
View all comments by Pants Elk
So you banged her, cheated her out of 100 Baht and then walked home?
Merry Christmas
View all comments by hanuman
I am coming to bangkok soon….never been in high season. Anyway I fall into the young boy class as bar girls are concerned and make sport of smashing guts with working girls for free. What are the best places to do this in bangkok and in pattaya if any knows. Merry Christmas.
View all comments by Godless Whore
You need to brush up on your negotiating skills by reviewing “The Dummies Guide to Negotiating Price with TG Working Girls,”
http://www.tfs2m.com/reader-submissions/2007/08/06/the-dummies-guide-to-negotiating-price-with-tg-working-girls-by-bigbabykenny/3/
You violated Step 3 -be the first one to throw out a price out and when you do it repeat exactly what services are being negotiated for.
It sounds like you could have started off with an initial offer of 1000 for LT and seamlessly negotiated up to 1500 or 2000.
By letter her offer a price first, you doomed yourself either to failure or paying a higher than necessary price.
You also violated the “Don’t be insulting when putting out your counter offers.”
It’s clear you were close to her Minimum Willingness to Accept and could easily have closed the deal if you negotiated better.
BigBabyKenny
View all comments by BigBabyKenny
jd - my bad. U got me. I was actually carrying a massive strap on with internal vibrator and a huge wal-mart belt buckle. I get so hot when being banged from behind by the little thai girls. When I turn around and see the belt buckle and think of home I usually peak. Anyway. It set the MRT scanners off and I just could not open that thing up in front of the yams.
fd - thx. We returned the favor.
oah - it would so get through. I have a buddy who carries a business card that shows he works at the enbassy. one night we were riding his motorbike from nana to cowboy. already hammered. we go nicked. We should the card. I said we work security for the british embassy. the cop smiled. Then said we were cops. Just like him. Waved us on. More fiction for u JD!
pe - nice. That and a neck pillow for when I go to baccara would be perfect.
h - walk home? No. That is why I grabbed the 100 baht. I grabed a taxi from Ratchada.
bbk - I guess I did not want to find my optimal price. The 100 would get me home. My primary goal really but I had thought of seeing if she would have bought lunch.
View all comments by smitty
Asking 100bht for the cab fare home, finally a guy who gets it.
Now stop offering money to FL’s and you’ll be cool
View all comments by Orion
I never thought I would see the day when someone would be lecturing smitty on how to get girls!
View all comments by werewolf
I think Kenneth is having a go at himself there, ww.
BTW I used Ken’s technique to negotiate a BG down to 739 baht one night and back at the hong-short she just turned around and re-negotiated the enthusiasm factor.
He’s got the right idea but she’s GOT to be “interested” in the first place for it to fly. And you ALWAYS have to be willing to cut your losses.
IMHO You roll some of your cards too soon Kenny and some too late
View all comments by thongsuk
ts - I think ww is referring to orion telling me to stop paying for FL.
I will evolve…
View all comments by smitty
Just a festive accent here; one of the best fucks I’ve had (and there have been many - you know BKK better than me) was from a Nana carpark freelancer who said I could do anything I wanted for 500 baht, and I did, and she was good to her word and didn’t angle for more. I don’t remember her “name”, and it’s unlikely (at best) she remembers me, but Happy Christmas, baby, anyway.
View all comments by Pants Elk
so how much cash did you drop at the Pent before you got a “free shag”???
View all comments by MSB
On BTS and MRT… the big difference between the 2 systems is that the government owns the subway and the stations making it their responsibility for security. BMCL is the operator of the system under a concession from the MRT.
Skytrain is owned and run by BTS which is concerned about profits. But, due to its massive debts, doesn’t actually make any.
View all comments by MSB
msb - very little and it was not the pent. people seem to be jaded to that fact that there are free shags in bkk. these coyote girls are making some coin and believe me it aint all coming from me. this is my 3rd coyote girl free shag. one of the girls I am not even a member of her club and have bought her drinks only the one time I saw her at her club. have not been back to her club since and she still calls.
msb - makes sense then but I think the MRT pseudo security is probably worse than none at all.
pe - touching.
View all comments by smitty
Not that smitty needs any help from me, but the story is mildly interesting anyway, I think.
There is a certain g-club dancer that I find very appealing; her interest in me seems to have more in common with the affection of a young girl for her favorite uncle than the animal lust I hoped for.
I once found her chatting up smitty a couple months back. I said g’day to the two of them, and so we are all aware that we know each other.
Last week I was talking to this lovely g-club dancer and I inquired whether she’d seen smitty lately (wondering if he’d been in the club). She got a pout on her face, whipped out her mobile phone and showed me a series of messages she had sent to smitty, basically begging to see him and offering herself in honor of his charm and good looks. She then showed me his replies, all of them thanking her for, but pleading that he was too busy to take advantage of her generosity. His scraps would be my main course.
I’ve seen smitty in action with the young and beautiful TGs that inhabit Bangkok. Unlike me, he doesn’t particularly need to open his wallet to make an impression.
View all comments by werewolf
I’ve seen Smitty in action. Dare I say in, in fear of his head swelling, I do recall him being ‘dragged’ into Spicy one night by a bunch of hotties.. I do believe they even paid for him to get in?!
bast…
WW: “her interest in me seems to have more in common with the affection of a young girl for her favorite uncle than the animal lust I hoped for.”
- Uncle Buck?!
Merry Xmas from Day Walker (who even by Thai standards would never be called ‘tall’)
View all comments by Daywalker
I believe that it was following the New Year bombs last year when security was “tightened”. It went from being non-existent to a joke.
View all comments by MSB
u are all too kind. frankly I am pretty lame compared to a few operators I have noticed in the past. These coyote girls in particular - especially if you don’t try and pick the super hot ones are just looking for some friends and to have a good time. Sure - I met them at the club. I have bought some drinks but then generally after that I see them out or go to dinner with them or the movies. Yes - I bought dinner and a movie. Big deal. Cheaper than a barfine. Sure some of them are looking for a boyfriend and will try hard to get u. Wow. Sucks to be chased by a gorgeous girl. Others though are not looking for the boyfriend because they are in work mode and want to make their own money. However they would not mind seeing a guy that is not a customer, not asian and is not who they see in their club every night. Honestly my score ratio is quite low compared to some others I know but it is out there boys.
It is all a delicate dance really since I don’t want a gf — have one of those already - and I am looking for the type who know the score and liek Orion says - aren’t texting me every 10 minutes. So given this - yes I turn a few down and you can’t try to work the whole club either. That does not go over well. So choose carefully and give it some time but I think it does pay off.
msb - a joke is exactly how I find it all.
View all comments by smitty
@ smitty re: msb - a joke is exactly how I find it all.
Fer shure
BTW @ Pmmp and Smitty and Marc: Your Xmas dinner presentation was right on the money. Food was just as it should be.
Thanks for providing a friendly, relaxed environment in which to enjoy it.
Once again, the service and the staff were attentive and polite. They’re getting good training from somebody there. Seems to be part of the brand.
View all comments by thongsuk
To me, a perfect ten is five twos.
View all comments by Pants Elk
ts: Thanks for stopping by last night. The only thing I had to do with the service and the food was procuring the Brussel Sprouts, but we all know that already
. Haven’t been that stuffed in a while. Gonna look for five twos to help me work it off.
View all comments by pmmp
this brussels sprout thing is a bigger deal than we all let on.
from the F times:
http://www.ft.com/cms/s/0/62446302-b1c3-11dc-9777-0000779fd2ac.html
Extreme weather has hit the supply of other seasonal fare, such as Brussels sprouts, with prices rising 7 per cent on the year.
View all comments by smitty