Busy busy folks. Yes - never fear we keep pounding the pavement in search of the new and improved Mango. Rest assured we have not given up. Had the turkey buffet at Bourbon Street yesterday with Jake Needham. I gorged. I stuck to the basics. Turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, yards of gravy. Then I did it again. I let it settle. Chatted some more and then went in for one more round. Then finished it up with some amazing bread pudding smothered in rum sauce and loads of pumpkin pie drowned in whipping cream. Sure - it ain’t like my mom and dad make but mom and dad aren’t here. Love the rents. The food was good and for a buffet, although not cheap, one can get their fill. I did. I am hurting. The Bourbon Street has also added another big room to their dining room and added more hotel rooms. Sounds like they are doing well. Congrats Doug. Thanks for a little slice of Americana on turkey day. Don’t tell my folks I cheated on them.
Had a newbie in town last night and I promised to show him a good time. He had been to Cowboy, Soi 33 and even the sky club already but had yet to see Nana or a G Club. This was the first time I had been to the plaza since the biggest news to hit NEP in years. We popped right up the broken escalator after pole vaulting the fish bbq and using the random motorbikes as hurdles. We headed straight into Mandarin. Good lineup and the music was fine. Girls upstairs had no undies. Great stuff. Off to R4. Plenty of talent and not too full but busy. Some honeys but for the newbie this place is no good. The pushy mamasan and the girls working for drinks turned him right off. I agree. BTW - there is a new mamasan in Mandarin who practically sits on your lap and then does the mamasan 101 version of using her arm to show u the lovely ladies on the stage available for barfining. Thanks so much. Like I didn’t know. Someone fire her. Quickly. Then we stopped by Hollywood Coyote which was empty. This place is doomed. Headed to the big Hollywood and it was kicking. The current stage show had 2 totally naked girls writhing on the stage together. Yes - naked. Awesome. I also saw the owner actually in his own bar appearing to act like he owned the place and blatantly taking an active role in making sure his customers were happy. I should buy a lotto ticket. Nana tour over. Not bad all in all depending on where u go.
From there we hit the Pent Club. We got a good seat in the disco room and partied hard. At one point the place was rammed with customers and hot girls dancing on the tables. Was awesome. Newbie fell in love and got some digits. The newbie admitted the girls were hotter than anything he had seen so far even if they were players and hard to get. Good time all in all and newbie had fun.
Then Tunnel. Tunnel was rammed but still manageable. I connected with some old contacts but forged on for new ones but at this point I was shattered. Newbie took off with company and ended up getting a call from the Pent girl. Seems things are looking up. For all of u non-believers, the member club girls are all over the after-hours scene. Don’t let anyone tell u anything different. I have seen Pent girls, Soprano girls, Forte girls, Resort girls, Whitehouse girls and so on. They say one thing in the G Club - but let’s face it, on the job they get wound up, drunk and horny and they carry on. Go get ‘em. No member fees needed.
Okay. One of the steadys has moved into a new pad in close proximity to Peep In. One day she is waiting for a cab to go to her uni and sees a nice BMW roll out of the Peep Inn with her “good girl” uni friend in the passenger seat. Older, well to do Thai guy in the driver’s seat. This is killing my girl cause this uni girl claims to be a good girl who has never worked the night scene, massage, freelance and so on. Soon as they meet up again at school my girl tears in and asks what was she doing at the Peep Inn? Uni girl is dumbfounded and finally spills all the beans. Seems in one of the Thai clubs one night she meets this Thai guy who falls for her and says that although he is married he needs a steady young side salad for weekly meetings at the Peep. She says no and tells him she is not a working girl. He says no problem and tells her he will find someone else to give his 4000 baht to per meeting. She decides she could use an easy 4k a week and goes for it. Weekly meetings have been going on for a few months now. I have seen this girl. She is hot but not worth 4k a pop. In my opinion only in Thailand would a proper girl cave so quickly. The town is setup for private meetings like this. The culture has quietly approved guys having multiple partners for centuries and girls seem to be okay with trading sex for cash. Even the good girls.
More on the Peep Inn. So at Care4 today I spring for a refrigerator (dtuu yen) for my girl. Selfish reason really - I need some cool refreshments readily available after our homework sessions. Shit like this is so cheap in Thailand. I think I spent more going out last night than I did on the fridge. So we are filling out the paperwork for the delivery and the Thai dude can’t seem to figure out where the apartment building is. I jump in and say right across from the Peep Inn. He knew right where that was and we both chimed in and asked how he knew where the Peep Inn was. He smiled. Love Thailand.
So went to pay the bill and got in line. About 4 people deep. Then some dude barrels in with his shopping cart. Pushes past us and all the Thais in front of us and says he is in a hurry to check out. I want to pop him but I just sit back and watch. The Thais don’t want to piss him off, he was big, and let him through. They ring him up and he plops 2 100 USD bills on the counter. Off course they tell him this is Thailand and they only accept baht or credit cards. He get angry and waves the bills around and mumbles something none of us can understand. They tell him he has to go change the money. He leaves to go to the Bangkok Bank. Of course the stuff is already rung up and the employees cannot cancel it or let any other customers get rung up. Now I am losing it and ask for a manager. Not to chew anyone out but to ask them to cancel his purchases so they can ring other people up. Then the guy comes back during this and gets mad that they canceled his purchases and goes back to swinging his green in the air. Turns out the bank would not change his money, must be fake $100 bills, but he continues to demand that Care4 take it. I finally walk up to the dude and politely tell him they only take baht and to quit yelling at the staff. He yells something else out that no one can understand and drags his wife and kids out of there. Lunatic.
Go forth and party.
PS. sent in from a reader - anyone care to solve this one? pmmp used to have a miss CSI so I am sure he will chime in.
A girl told me recently that if the wants to check if her boyfriend has been with another woman she examines his semen. If it is clear then he has come recently. If it is milky in colour he has not.
I think this is an urban legend. Has anyone else heard this?
re. CSI:Bangkok….
I’ll let you know about the milky later.. then if it’s clear 10 mins later
View all comments by Day walker
Looks are just one factor to consider. You have to taste it to be sure. If it’s not milky and it taste spicy then you’ve eff’d a bargirl after eating her out. If it’s not milky and taste like beer then you haven’t eff’d but drank alot of beer, or maybe you eff’d and you were too drunk to remember. If it’s not milky and taste like regirgitated feces then you should go see a doctor…I can go on. Now for the texture…
View all comments by pmmp
In the words of Shane Vendrell (The Shield Series 5)
“Eatin aint Cheatin”
View all comments by Day walker
What does it mean if it’s green?
View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy
You had sex on March 17th?
View all comments by pmmp
It’s the quantity that counts not the quality
View all comments by hanuman
There is nothing worse than being embarassed by another asshole foreigner… people like that make a good case for racism.
View all comments by Paul
I would have been tempted to pay for the pricks stuff and take it when he away trying to exchange money, resulting in the twat having to go and do it all over again
View all comments by Day Walker
I was in Mandarin Table Dance on Thursday night, and some American guy climbed up on the empty round ‘birdcage’ stage in the corner, so he could dance and have his photo taken. I was sitting in the booth beside it and perhaps I physically cringed because he leaned over and apologized, thus raising the critical questions: Is it okay to be an embarrassing wanker foreigner if you apologize to the other foreigners in the room for you idiotic behaviour?
View all comments by werewolf
werewolf: no.
View all comments by Phoenix
ww - I second the no. tared and feathered is the correct answer
View all comments by smitty
Apologizing just makes it worse
View all comments by Orion
Peep Inn was great about ten years ago. Don’t know if the wild birds are still there but it used to be a fairly bizzare experience banging a hottie with a vulture looking on.
View all comments by Psi100th
Pmmp “You have to taste it to be sure.” Isn’t there a limit to how much research is necessary?
View all comments by Wombat
My friends girlfriend use to demand to smell his cock when he came back. I got fed up with them asking if I have others girls along time ago, if they ask I tell them “Yeah 5″.
View all comments by Young Royal
We should applaud the lenghs pmmp goes to give us this information.
Of course, a lot of this he ’stumbles’ accross on his little adventures.
View all comments by Day walker
Was it by any chance a Russian guy? They are so polite.
@Daywalker; If you change girls as much as you do avatars, then you are the King of Swing.
View all comments by hanuman
By the way, where’s Bert?
View all comments by hanuman
I thought I was Bert… or am I Ernie?
I now squirt my pillow cases with my aftershave. I’ve caught some girls sniffing my pillows to see if they smell another birds purfume.
Little minx’s
- I should really wash them?
View all comments by Day walker
@ smitty re: . . . new mamasan in Mandarin . . . does the mamasan 101 version of using her arm to show u the lovely ladies on the stage available for barfining. Thanks so much. Like I didn’t know. Someone fire her. Quickly.
I thought I was the only one until a while back I saw BBB testify on this as well.
There are many others who feel the same. It goes with ferangs up there on the pole, wai-ing your favorite whore and of course the whole bullshit “mamasan” concept.
Service chicks are getting in on it too. (Beats spending an hour a day learning English, I suppose. Just wave your lazy-ass arm. Oh yeah, and pester me to bang the girl I’m talking to . . . the other great deal breaker.
I have no patience with rude, greedy, vulgar, angle-seeking hose-bags who insinuate themselves into my transaction (glom a coupla hundred baht off the play? some face/influence as a rainmaker?).
On more than one occasion I have been with a girl and the “mamasan” has either done this or the romantic finger-fukc gesture, posi-nodded like a spazz and pointed upstairs. Recently bought an Electric Blue “mamasan” a drink (out of pity more than anything) The bitch rang up 160 for a coke. (”I mamasan :-)” She adjusted the situation tout de suite when I got up to speak with the real “mama.”
Everyone knows it was not about the 40 baht. I’ve responded with “uber-wai’s”, cold stares, “Check bin!”s, and I’ve occasionally just told the more aggressive ones to simply fukc off.
Over-reaction?
Well this Pseudo-nippon “mamasan” act is ALL bullshit for starters. If I want a girl to sit with me I’ll ask her. What happened to smile, and tap finger to beer bottle??
If I want parasites I’ll eat dodgy pah laah.
And when I wanted to get a gal out to shack up I just told her to quit. That was years ago, BTW.
ANYONE who actually believes they require ANYTHING from one of these parasitic dragons is ripe for the picking.This is NOT Japan and we are not seeking “Mama’s” Geisha insider wisdom.
“What do WE need HER for?” I’ve asked the treat on many occasions. “She’s just stealing your money. You’re the one who has to fukc the guy, right? Not her.” This can be done in a fun way and with some it’s a great closer. (Admiitedly other treats go a little obtuse about this part of it, I move on.
Happens, but rarely.
I’ve had hotties tell me that they know in less than a minute whether or not they have an “out”. One RB4 gal said, 90% of the time, she knew before the trick did. Any hot trickster will agree that she doesn’t need this nonsense either and that she’s just as embarrassed and irritated by it as you. (True or not it shows her you care
These so-called “mamasans” are not needed except as recruiters. They rarely have a hand in this any more.
Their asinine shit drives P4P prices up more than anything else IMHO.
View all comments by Thongsuk
@ Psi100th: (see above
). . . . used to be a fairly bizzare experience (for banging read “pulling”) a hottie with a vulture looking on.
View all comments by Thongsuk
@Daywalker; My mistake, you are Bert on a rampage in Bangkok, it’s Ernie who’s missing.
View all comments by hanuman
Reminds me of a chemistry experiment that I used to perform at school. Shake the liquid in the test tube and leave to stand for 10 minutes. If it turns into a cloudy suspension then…but for the life of me I can’t remember what the experiment was.
There was some advice I read in a sex manual that guys who are prone to premature ejaculation should knock one off the wrist before seeing their girlfriend to ensure that they lasted longer. I supposed this advice may need to be re-considered if your girl is the suspicious type. But if you think she might be checking up on you then it is all the more reason to make sure that she swallows…
View all comments by Mike Phillips
ts - I love the papasan massage parlour style - can I help u find a girl? What do u like? That type of shit. Generally they always do me a good turn. I will tip them and get a number and sometimes call ahead to reserve a girl but the go-go style mamasan kills me. They can all go as far as I am concerned.
Electric blue patpong mamasans are some of the worst in town.
View all comments by smitty
surely someone has a witty retort to the mamasan 101 arm flourish - i’ve responding in kind (i.e. waving my arm to indicate all the punters in attendance while givning the sly, inviting smile to make a choice), sometimes they’ll laugh it off but oftentiems they’ll just give you a dumbfounded stare and walk away completely miffed.
View all comments by go go groupie
gg - I usually just tell them to leave and never come back to my table or I will pay the bill and go. I just can’t stand any of them anymore.
View all comments by smitty
@BBB — That’s an easy one! It means it’s time to go to the clinic!
View all comments by The Heckler
GGG: Right on.
We drop into go-go’s to play and to get laid ST, not to be treated like fools. The old “Mae” knows she’s well past her due date, she’s clearly seen that the only way left for her is to repackage herself as a hospitality professional.
That “mamasan 101 arm wave” is 100% for the girls, to show them what a leader she is. .. and how they need her to make it happen. It’s sick and it’s insulting as hell. A Thai man would ignore them.
The papasan number is the way to do it.
Wanna get ‘cumbered’;-? Check ‘em out. Call me if you need me. Beer? 
No thanks, I don’t drink on the job. Gimme a shout after you’ve, um, kicked the tires for a while. Have a pleasant ride” 
“Hey Dude. You, uh, ‘unencumbered’?
(Michael Keaton as pimp Shelly Long as ‘treat’)
I too have “responded in kind” but it’s just too much of a reach for them. In “making light” you’re telling “Mae” that her “work” is stupid and her “take care act” is goofy. After all, you’re asking a Thai to laugh at herself and to encourage others who report to her to do the same.
Good luck with that one.
Ask her “Khun tam arai, yuu, naa ?”
Catch the eye of the girls and then gesture for her to cover her pits. (Smile)
Tell her she has breath issues. (Smile)
Tell her to go help the tourists (wave to them) or to clean the toilet. (Smile)
Tell her in English that you’re quite sure there is some useful agricultural task she could be performing back in her village.
Try to spot the REAL “mamasan” in the room. (Breezer? ONLY! Get the bitch pissed
Risk of comprehension is nill of course. But you’ll feel better.
. . . I don’t even wai after all)
(’all works for me . . . but I’m a bit of a prick, (ask around
I’ve found that another nice table-turner (if you have the stomach for it) can be to shoot a lascivious look at the old dragon herself and ask her, How much?” She’ll answer some outrageous amount and then you get to your yee-sip baht roll and peel one off like it was a big deal. Ask her how she likes it. Won’t take long to drive her off if she’s the butt of jokes. And the girls see it.
But always smile and always flirt with the rascal you want to ravage while you’re trashing “mae”. And slip the odd 20 into Noi’s thong (if you’re an older guy like me) to show you mean business. (Preferably the twenty/fifty you have just offered this annoying “mamasan” for public head: Right here. Right now. In the bar!
You can be SURE the girls, unless really “suebuea” (and, um,don’t ever rule that out
) feel much the same as punters do. It’s a great way to separate the thinking ones from the dummies. . . the funsters from the followers.
“Mae” is really performing for the newbie farm-girls, after all. . . to demonstrate to them how her advanced social skills, her linguistic skills and her knowledge of “the way of the farang ” will be invaluable to them if they want to earn real money.
So make a fool of her in front of them. She’ll disappear.
Then barfine your rascal and paper her with a generous tip. (Get her to turn over the battery to her phone
and get your rocket polished by someone who respects what you just did to this parasitic old hose.
Hope this widens the field to a wisecrack or two
I’m in this for the laughs. Hope I don’t have to “confetti” the joint with smilies to get that across.
View all comments by thongsuk
thongsuk - your insights have caused me to put aside my work and ponder some of the more subtle aspects of the go go social structure (thank you). for instance, isn’t there a strong mamasan/working girl bond in most cases (i’ve heard rumors of how the mamasan is often more attentive to the girls than the real mama back in the amphoe, or how when mamasans change bars they end up bringing nearly half the girls along)? if so, won’t taking the piss out of mama possibly backfire and cause you to lose your chance with the rascal you really want?
View all comments by go go groupie
Thongsuk: Eleven emoticons in a single comment! You’re very close to a yellow card.
View all comments by werewolf
@ww: Well yeah, but I read it over before submitting this time and it sounded a bit “seeliat.” I’m trying to be funny. . . without emoticons. . . . life is so hard without emoticons. So harsh. So strict.
I live my life in constant fear of humorless literalists.
Do I really need to hear from someone who doesn’t get it (that I figure it’s all a game but it’s a game that one plays seriously) that I’m cynical? and that I have to take a chill pill?
What else is a poor man who wants to advance this topic to do? *sigh*
@ggg: I went out on a limb there ggg and you may have had other experience. I know the old stories about ‘em but to me they’re all so much romantic nonsense. They don’t even have the intellect to ACT like proper “mamasans”
(But, *sigh* I AM (admittedly) a cynical prick.)
For example: The romantic view that the old doosh is there like something out of “Memoires of a Geisha” is patently laughable. She’s there to EAT, ggg. And she’ll eat your guts if you let her.
–See? Now that’s pretty harsh. Unkind to the matronly old dear’s self pumped image as some kind of benevolent Mama who’ll help you grab off one of her earners. Do this in the old country and you’ll get ole LeRoy beating on her and you as well if he can.
Naaw. She’s not really there to do you any favors ggg.
She’ll let the same rascal get bought out three or four times in a single year for one thing.
An she’ll eat EVERY time she does it!
And then listen to your sob story.
Good friends over the years have run some of the biggest and most successful joints in the business.
Burn that “mamsan” myth.
I buy NONE of the oft-touted “Inn of the Sixth HAppiness” folklore.
And guys?
Let’s play together to do ALL we can to make “mamsans” irrelevant !
Who really needs ‘em?
@ ww Is it really the same without smilies?
View all comments by thongsuk