(pmmp Note: This was sent in from morefun and I just had to post. For those that don’t know www.craigslist.org is an extremely popular personals/classifieds site in many cities in the US and starting to spread globally. It’s a cool website for sure and very useful. I am guessing that the AD and the ANSWER are very real. We’ve had the Poker analogies and now we have Wall Street one’s…)
The AD:
What am I doing wrong?
Okay, I’m tired of beating around the bush. I’m a beautiful(spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I’m articulate and classy. I’m not from New York. I’m looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don’t think I’m overreaching at all.
More… Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200 - 250. But that’s where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won’t get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she’s not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?
Here are my questions specifically:
- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms
- What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won’t hurt my feelings
- Is there an age range I should be targeting (I’m 25)?
- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I’ve seen really ‘plain jane’ boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I’ve seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What’s the story there?
- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?
- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY
Please hold your insults - I’m putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I’m being up front about it. I wouldn’t be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn’t able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.
it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests Craig’s List PostingID:
THE ANSWER
Dear Pers-:
I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament. Firstly, I’m not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here’s how I see it.
Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a crappy business deal. Here’s why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here’s the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity…in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won’t be getting any more beautiful!
So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you’re 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!
So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold…hence the rub…marriage. It doesn’t make good business sense to “buy you” (which is what you’re asking) so I’d rather lease. In case you think I’m being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It’s as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.
Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as “articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful” as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn’t found you, if not only for a tryout.
By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn’t need to have this difficult conversation.
With all that said, I must say you’re going about it the right way.
Classic “pump and dump.”
I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.
Hahaha I love this post. The answer is so spot on
View all comments by Orion
She didn’t mention if she takes it up the arse?
- Always a deal-breaker.
View all comments by Day walker
Daywalker: You are always so picky
View all comments by Phoenix
It’s a buyers market!!
View all comments by Day walker
Depreciating asset… I like that. That’s why I moved to the land of the short time lease.
View all comments by werewolf
great post. Sounds somewhat contrived - like it was a perfect tee up for the answer but still great stuff. My buddy and I in Japan used to always talk about how the women had the depreciating asset and the men, the employed ones, had the appreciating asset. Then it was always a nightly game of seeing who got what based on what they had. The younger women tending to do better since they had more time. The age of the men rarely matters if they try to look good and have some cash. However u would get the older but attractive women being more aggressive and cutting quickly to sex since they knew their asset was depreciating rapidly. A delicate dance of powers. Somehow I think the women of Asia tend to understand this balance more and do their best to work it to their advantage but yet this Farang in the post seems to not get it at all and assumes she is the one with the power given her looks. She is so wrong.
awesome stuff…
View all comments by smitty
Also,no mention of the divorce settlement in the answer.
Women just dont comprehend that the guy is always fu*ked-over in the inevitable split…..ask Paul McCartney,£50M down the tubes after four years of ‘bliss’ with an ex-hooker.And she only had one leg!!!
We all ‘pay to play’ in whatever guise, so stay safe and single.
View all comments by ChelseaBlue
Clever. By the way, the site is http://www.craiglist.org. Craiglist.com is a porn site portal.
View all comments by Bangkok Biatch
woops, my bad, thanks for the correction BB. I corrected it in the original post. I’ve had it bookmarked for so long that I forgot.
View all comments by pmmp
This poor little biatch is going to be looking for a long time. NYC is awash in classy, beautiful women. As pointed out above, beauty is a fading commodity.
Men get married for one real reason…they think of the woman as their best friend and they will trust that woman above all others. The sex wears off The ad poster does not inspire that confidence with her “Central Park West” attitude.
Finally, she also better be able to sling her ass in bed. When I worked in MPLS, I lived in an apartement and one of my neighbors was a very high class escort/call girl. She used the apartment as her “bolt hole” where she could not be found by her clients. I got to know her a little bit and she said wives could put her out of business if they would only do one thing. Swallow.
View all comments by The Asian Badger
ab - nice. I must say I am thankful for Lolitas keeping up the pressure on the Thai girls to finish the job.
View all comments by smitty
Do the girls in the Lolita really swallow? Where else in BKK is that “service” available?
View all comments by Phoenix
the answer of that ad is FANTASTIC this guy is so bright and sharp… the style he is using :mix of a lawyer and banker vocabulary throwing the data straight into this girl hope for stupid american girl dream is hilarious. This mate must be fun to hang around with …however i record the lesson he is giving us about depreciating asset… in Thailand -If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It’s as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage-
reflect on that with Thai girls my dear brother in arms!!!!!
View all comments by filet o fish
Craigslist rocks. Here is another recent post. This one is a barter ad from SF. What a huge difference between SF and NY.
Well my Dell is on it’s last legs. (…) For my needs I am looking for a laptop that is at least 1.5 ghz minimum. Built in wireles, pentium 3 minimum, in good condition. Basically, not a beater laptop but a well maintained machine. (…) Now offering prostate massage.
http://www.boingboing.net/2007/10/07/one-laptop-per-prost.html
View all comments by BabaBobo
bb - the post at craigslist has already been pulled. bummer
View all comments by smitty
more similar fodder:
http://roissy.wordpress.com/2007/10/12/why-i-date-younger-girls/
View all comments by smitty
@Phoenix: They don’t swallow at Lolitas, but they don’t gag either, and they’re discreet about spitting into the tissue.
Best Blow Job in the universe available at Star of Light in Patpong.
Hand Job/Blow Job on offer at AfterSkool in Soi Cowboy.
I’m sure there’s thousands of other options for blow jobs in Bangkok, but these are the easiest and most convenient that I know of.
Many years ago, a friend offered me this definition of his perfect girl: “She swallows, smiles and says ‘thank you’”
View all comments by werewolf
Werewolf, thanks for the hints. Maybe I have to break my rule of never going to Patpong again to try Star of Light
I also witnessed a BJ in the back corner of the Afterskool before but haven’t gotten one myself so far…
Will do some more research on the BJ scene in BKK when I return in December
View all comments by Phoenix
There are 4 or 5 BJ bars in Patpong (from memory), of which the Star of Light is by far the finest. Cowboy has Afterskool, but the four other touchy-feely bars (Fannys, Toy Bar, Moonshine Joint and Jungle Jim’s) have recently had to clean up in the bar areas, so customers have to go upstairs for relief. You already know about Lolita’s. Eden Club is probably a bit much if you just want a BJ, but has some very talented ladies.
Best BJ I ever had in Thailand was, surprisingly, from a gogo dancer at Angelwitch. She’s gone back to Issan now though. I might have to go and visit…
View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy
One view of Afterskool:
http://bargirlsrpeople2.wordpress.com/2007/09/14/hand-jobs-at-afterskool/
The best blowjob I remember was from a Thai girl, but it wasn’t in Thailand. The girl, who lived in Bangkok, used to travel to Sydney Australia for about 3 weeks every year, and worked 12 hours a day in Sydney brothels to earn enough dough (about a million baht) to take care of herself and her family the rest of the year.
She stayed with me in my apartment during her Oz trip during my last year living there. On this trip she planned a longer stay; 6 weeks and she mixed brothel work with days off spent with me.
On one of her days off, she got a call for a private party. She went out for about 4 hours, then returned. She’d been at a party with 4 guys and another two girls. She’d taken ecstacy and was feeling good, and I guess she was horny from the party. She put on some hip hop music, turned up the volume and did a striptease for me. When she was naked, she pulled off my pants, hit her knees, and sucked me dry.
I think when she finished I asked her to marry me. As blow jobs go,it was a work of art.
View all comments by werewolf
BBB, thanks! What was the phone number of that Isaan Gogo-dancer again?
View all comments by Phoenix