In the absence of The Weekly we bring you some random tidbits of nightlife information. Take it or leave it. Before we get to the bits let me first highlight a story that I find quite funny since it reminded me of how one of my good friends in Sacramento, CA dealt with the Mormon missionaries. My friend was an eccentric character and used to practice on the weekends with a Samurai sword as a form of exercise. For some reason the Mormon missionaries would visit his house almost every time they made the rounds even with him telling them they were not welcome and that he was a devout atheist. So during a sword session he happened to see the Mormons coming up his front walkway. He quickly took off all of his clothes save his shoes and his Japanese headband. He greeted them at the door naked with his sword and enthusiastically beckoned them inside. They declined to come in and he never saw them again.
Had a quick run through a few places recently:
Soi 33:
Just seems as dead as a doornail except for the few busy bars like Office and Lookie Lookie. Livingstones had some biz as well. Van Gogh had a big sign out saying there was new management and new girls. But the few girls sitting outside scared me off from checking into their claims further. I did have a nice dinner at Tenderloins though and will write that up later. I actually think some of the girls working service at Tenderloins are hotter than most of the girls on Soi 33.
Soi 7/1:
Cruised by on Monday night. Not much to say really. Seems the girls at The Ring are wearing naughty nurses uniforms if you are into such things. The Magic Table was going but I peeked in and saw no reason to stay. The Tequila Dragon crew is back to pushing themselves as an after hours spot but checked in on it later and it was dead.
Cowboy:
Cowboy is the current leader of the go-go spots. The most nudity and staying open later but it is a handful of bars leading the pack. Baccara, Long Gun, Rawhide, Shark and Shebas I would say. I popped into Shark and was able to sit for close to 10 minutes with no one asking for my order. I snuck out and no one seemed to notice. Dollhouse was doing well but once again the girls seem to go fast. Spice girls is close to being one of the most horrible bars right now. Girls dancing naked upstairs that you don’t want to see naked and to top it off a random drunk dude dancing on the stage. That should never happen. I popped into the Cocktail club and was well - not impressed. There were a few cute girls and there are a few young ones as well. Too young in my opinion. The deal there is a few girls dance at a time in their underwear and the other girls hang out. Then they switch. It is somewhat like Safari in Patpong but Safari works. Cocktail Club does not. However the few cute girls were really hot and nice. Drinks are cheap but the mamasan is super annoying. Who owns these places and let them get this bad? Lastly I popped into Apache - the new Coyote place. There were no coyote girls. Only 2 girls on the stage naked - with their nipple stars. They were not cute and there were no customers. I left without getting a drink.
Nana:
Cruised into RB 1. Okay but nothing special. The music is annoying me there as of late and I just can’t deal with the mamasan. However there are some cuties in there indeed. Then I went into RB 3. I love this place. Lots of girls but not so huge of a place that you can’t hangout and see everything. Great dance music to keep the girls moving and some hotties. I like this rainbow the best. Then moved onto Hollywood with the coyote dancers. The place was empty. Passed. Then went to Hollywood Carousel. Seems to be getting worse by the week. For sure they are not running all their aircons so the place is hot. They are losing talent. The only decent things are the shows and a new weeknight drink special that is buy one get one free. That is cool but not if you are too hot with nothing good to look at. Walked by Gspot but did not feel inclined to go in. RB 4 was rammed. Farang connection was closed. Pretty Lady was going and with no undies but lacking on talent.
After Hours:
Tunnel going strong as usual. Have not been to Spicy in a while but went to Spice the other night. I find this place less annoying now than I did before and due to the location it makes for an easy choice if one wants to party around lower Suk after hours. They have some Coyote girls and some decent music. I prefer Spicy due to the amount of pullable women but Spice is an okay alternative. We also mentioned the new after hours place on Petchaburi road. It is called Sib-Saen and I have no idea why. It is on Soi Khao Tom Doungdee. For ease of use. Go down Asoke towards Petchburi and go left. Soi Khao Tom is the first left after you turn onto Petchburi. You cannot miss the open all night Khao Tom restaurant. Walk into the soi and you will see the Dio Karaoke place. Go into Dio and walk upstairs. Fun place and rammed with cowboy girls. I must have seen at least 20 girls from Shebas and Suzies. Enjoy!
Thanks for the update.
View all comments by ArtTv
The last two female Moron missionaries I saw were very hot (think they were Mormon). They were dressed very nice, in kind of a sexy way, along with a ton of makeup and hair done to perfection. Great faces and bods to match. They must have been trying to recruit more men - they tempted me. Told my wife next time they show up at the door, I am going to open it wide and say “THE STRIPPERS ARE HERE”. Think they will come in?
View all comments by MunchMouth
@MunchMouth: If you live in Bangkok that sounds like a perfect description of most of the Uni girls. If you don’t live in Bangkok… well… get rid of your wife and move here. There’s plenty of strippers — er — Uni girls to go around.
View all comments by werewolf
ww: Yeah, I am living in bkk now(5 months) with the wife. Seen some of the night life without enjoying tasting any of local candy. Come home with blue balls every time — damn they hurt! How do you married guys do it?
View all comments by MunchMouth
mm - I am not married but I would say this is the city I would want to live in if and when I do. Short time hotels, massages parlors, and girls who understand what being married means. Plenty of chances…
View all comments by smitty
I thought living in Bangkok would be the perfect reason to NOT get married?!
Ah, but then it has something to do with having a ‘heart, scruples, morals, being compassion, caring and have a sensitive side’… and stuff.
As Chris Rock says.. ” a man is only as faithful as his options ”
smitty… I don’t think you are marriage material
View all comments by Day walker
@MunchMouth: If your goal is to be faithful, then forget this advice, but if you want to “taste the local candy” then learn where the short time hotels are. They’re EVERYWHERE.
All you need is two hours away from the wife.
One useful strategy is to introduce the wife to some friends who seem stable, well employed and trustworty. Have a couple of dinners together. Invite her out with the two of you a couple of times then bore her to tears while you guys talk about golf and fishing.
Once she trusts him completely, leave her at home and go to the gym and then out for a couple of hours with him in the early evening. You can short time a girl, get a shower and be home smelling fresh, and the wife will be happy that you have a friend who encourages you to exercise, doesn’t get you too drunk and makes sure you come home early!
By the way… I ain’t married, so this is all just fanciful theory. Maybe someone who is actually married can give some real tips. (Or, maybe as an option your wife would be up for a threesome with some of the local Uni girl talent???)
View all comments by werewolf
‘Cocktail club…and there are a few young ones as well. Too young in my opinion’
How is that possible!
View all comments by Mike Phillips
ww…it’s not fanciful theory. i’ve been married for almost 20 years and it works exactly as you say….although i’m pretty sure my wife knows what i’m up to, i don’t think she cares too much as long as i don’t bring anything home.
View all comments by bo
ww: My goal is to be faithful in all eyes. This is a very difficult goal after looking around.
For the most part, I tell my wife where I have been and what I have seen. She is one of a kind when it comes to understanding men and what they do. Although, if she were to ever find out I went beyond looking, I would not only loose a very special person in my life, I would also loose a “member” of my family I am very fond of.
Have bought many lady drinks so far. Cheap thrills. One of these days I may get accused of cheating just because the TG perfumes keeps coming home with me.
Another business idea for smitty: Rent storage space to married farangs to store their shaving kit. In the shaving kit will be a Thai cell phone (this is how his Thai girl friends get a hold of him), his regular shampoo and soap (so he will smell the same when he gets home), condoms, extra cash and whatever else he wants to keep from his wife. Alternatively, you could hold the key to his den of sin.
As you can see, I have over thought the whole idea.
If you are single, and haven’t been to Thailand yet, get over here! It is amazing!
View all comments by MunchMouth
@MunchMouth: They’ll keep all that stuff behind the bar for you at Big Mango… just give it to the bartender next time your in for happy hour.
View all comments by werewolf
mm - that’s a tall order but something to think about. I seem to do alright keeping up pretenses by hitting the right massage joints.
ww - if people are really paranoid we lock stuff up in the cage. no drama…
View all comments by smitty
@smitty: I meant the above commment as a joke, but in all seriousness, the people at the Mango have been really nice in locking stuff up for me when I was a bit too drunk to take care of my laptop, or when I was heading out for a big night in the gogos and couldn’t haul my briefcase with me. Best bar in Bangkok!
View all comments by werewolf
was not meant that way. I meant that sometimes people worry about their stuff behind the bar so we lock it in the cage. Same as if someone left stuff overnight.
We aim to please…
View all comments by smitty
If I leave ‘JJ’ behind the bar one night. Can you lock him up in the cage?
View all comments by Day walker
The best way of enjoying the local facilities without dishonoring the other half is to get permission. Rarely an option unfortunately due to all the baggage that gets lumped in with marriage, but if a couple is at least comfortable with each other to talk about it you may be surprised what is considered important and what isn’t about the relationship.
View all comments by Cabby