It was July 4th, America’s Independence Day this past week. The usual American bars in town had their tacky promotions. We did nothing here. Why? Just not feeling very patriotic these days. In fact, I’m somewhat ashamed of being an American.
Two aspects in particular that I’m ashamed of most, American Culture and American Foreign Policy. The Culture which is ruled by the media has become materialistic, selfish, bloated, self-righteous, and way too politically correct. As for Foreign Policy and America’s image around the globe, it’s the worst I’ve seen in my lifetime. I meet folks from just about everywhere in the world these days. Many people like America and many people hate America but rarely do I find somebody who loves America. In fact, there seem to be more people cheering when Americans are killed rather than crying. That’s just wrong.
The leadership in America is appalling and can be held most responsible for the state of the union. Robert Kennedy once said “The problem of power is how to achieve its responsible use rather than its irresponsible and indulgent use - of how to get men of power to live for the public rather than off the public.”. Apparently, the current leaders have never heard this quote before which is very unfortunate for all of us. I’m sure Robert Kennedy is spinning in his grave.
Speaking of Robert Kennedy, man it would be nice if he was around. I recently watched the movie “Bobby” by Emilio Estevez. What a great movie. It sent me into a rediscovery phase with RFK and many of the great speeches he delivered. His words really transcend time. Let’s just imagine for a second that there was an American presidential candidate that could deliver a speech like the one RFK gave:
“I am today announcing my candidacy for the presidency of the United States. I do not run for the presidency merely to oppose any man but to propose new policies. I run because I am convinced that this country is on a perilous course and because I have such strong feelings about what must be done, and I feel that I’m obliged to do all that I can. I run to seek new policies - policies to end the bloodshed in Vietnam and in our cities, policies to close the gaps that now exist between black and white, between rich and poor, between young and old, in this country and around the rest of the world. I run for the presidency because I want the Democratic Party and the United States of America to stand for hope instead of despair, for reconciliation of men instead of the growing risk of world war. I run because it is now unmistakably clear that we can change these disastrous, divisive policies only by changing the men who are now making them.”
Sure, these are just words and anybody can spew out words but the Kennedy’s backed it up. Where are the Kennedy’s of today? I don’t see them. The current crop of American presidential candidates don’t offer much hope either although I’m glad I don’t have to live through the shame of another George Bush re-election. Rudy Giuliani however is one candidate that gives me some hope. I met the man and lived in NY while he was US Attorney. He would make a great President (interestingly enough, Rudy volunteered for Robert Kennedy’s presidential campaign in 1968). He thinks outside the box and is not afraid to tackle complex issues. Will he be able to guide American Culture in a more positive, compassionate, and selfless direction? Will he be able to come up with a better solution for peace in the Middle East and elsewhere around the world? Not sure but I hope somebody steps up soon.
In the meantime, I’m glad to be living in Bangkok. I love many things about America but I’m glad to be spared all of the July 4th red, white and blue propaganda. Sure, the Thai Govt. has it’s “quirks” but a nice thing about living in Bangkok is that most people are here to have a good time. So let’s forget about Politics and get on with the Weekly.
Low season update: Soi Cowboy although not rocking is up from last year, Nana is down, Patpong sucks, Pattaya and Phuket down, and other pubs/restaurants/hotels/clubs in Bangkok are down from last year.
This week:
Bangkok Bar/Go-Go Update
After Hours Update
pmmp and The 23-Year-Old Virgin Boy
Thai Phrase of the Week
Tales From The Street
Big Mango Bar Update
Upcoming Events
Bangkok Bar/Go-Go Update
Nana Entertainment Plaza
Closing consistently at 2am. Most bars very slow with the exception of the more popular bars.
- Carousel. Still doing decent shows but really low energy from the girls.
- Carnival. Pathetic as usual but wanted to show a newbie friend the mechanical bull. You would think that a Go-Go with a mechanical bull would get some customers, it doesn’t. Proves once again that terrible service, management, and talent are more important than riding a mechanical bull. The debates can now end.
- Playskool. Some lookers starting to appear. Not many customers so you may have a nice selection.
Soi Cowboy
Closing 2am and still very nude
- Baccara. They bought the bar next door and are expanding. These folks know what they are doing and I’m sure they will continue to strive.
- Suzie Wong’s. I brought another newbie to see the lesbian show that starts around 10:50pm and once again they were blown away. My newbie friend had his girl he barfined from Dollhouse with him. As soon as the show finished he was like “Okay, I’m ready to explode. I’m outta here.”
- Dejavu. Surprise of the week. The shows here are amazing. The mamasan is still a witch and they are pushy as heck for drinks but if you ignore them they will go away.
- Cowboy One. Horrific.
- Shark. Great talent but aircon was broke. Girls still kept their shear tops on though.
- Dollhouse. Unbelievable lift in talent over the last month. Some absolutely stunning birds flying around in here.
After Hours Update
Most clubs are going until 5-6am.
- Spicy Ron Muang Soi 1. Still leads the pack.
- Spice on Suk Soi 11. Packed on Friday and Saturday but light on Weekdays although on Weekdays there are way more girls than guys. The “sexy shows” as they are billed are really lame. Even more lame is when the girls from the shows go around with shots of Tequila on candle-lit trays for get this 200 baht each. That shot probably cost them 5-10 bath each. Can you say price gouging?
- DiscoTech above Foodland on Suk Soi 5. Dead zone. Never caught on and will probably be closed soon.
- Patpong II. Rocking all night. Many of the pool bars go all night as well as the “After” club across from Foodland. GoGo’s still going til 3:00am as well.
- Windsor Hotel on Suk Soi 20. Packing them in but it’s 99% Thai so sharpen up using the Thai Phrase of the Week if you want to meet hot Thai chicks there 
pmmp and The 23-Year-Old Virgin Boy
A friend of mine brought in a 23-Year-Old Virgin guy friend of his to the Mango this past week. When my friend told me he was still a virgin I was speechless and extremely curious. However, I didn’t want to embarrass him and ask a bunch of questions so I let it go. Luckily, he came back to the bar the next night and I got to ask him a few questions which I’ve put in a paraphrased interview format below. Let me first say that this guy is the nicest guy you would want to meet and a good looking kid that the girls in the bar went gaa-gaa over. He is also a devote Christian with very cool parents that let him do what he wants. The interview:
pmmp: “My friend tells me you are a Virgin. Is that right?”
TheVirgin: “Yup.”
pmmp: “Seriously?”
TheVirgin: “Yup.”
pmmp: “How is that possible? How long have you been here in Bangkok?”
TheVirgin: “I have been here four months and will be here another two. I am on a 6 month internship.”
pmmp: “Four months and not even a trip to Lolita’s or a hand job or anything?”
TheVirgin: “Nope. Nothing.”
pmmp: “Have you been to the Go-Go’s?”
TheVirgin: “Yes, but I don’t get turned on visually. I need to feel something for the person and be in a relationship before I can get turned on”
pmmp: <my jaw dropped for about ten seconds> “Wow. Even when you see 20 or 30 young naked Thai girls dancing on poles you don’t get excited?”
TheVirgin: “Nope”
pmmp: “I walk around this town with a chronic chubby. Doesn’t it drive you crazy to the point where you have to take action?”
TheVirgin: “Nope”
pmmp: <I wanted to ask him about boxing the one-eyed clown (see http://www.worldwidewank.com/synonyms2.html for more synonyms) but I’m too classy a guy> “You know, if I told that group of bargirls over there that you are a virgin they would probably attack, molest, and rape you. All for free”
TheVirgin: “Please don’t”
pmmp: “How was the Burger btw?”
TheVirgin: “Excellent. I love your Burgers” <shameless plug, sorry>
pmmp: “Well, I wish you the best. I don’t really understand. For me this is more perplexing than why some men like cut Ladyboys over Ladies but you seem really normal and well adjusted. More power to ya.”
TheVirgin: “Thanks, you slutty pig of a man” <just kidding, he would never say this. Others might but he didn’t>
Thai Phrase of the Week
This week we learn the Thai phrase for Moneky’s Ass (actually it’s Lao not Thai but most bargirls will chuckle when they hear this):
“dahk ling”
dahk- ass
ling- monkey
This sounds very close to “Darling” so you may want to clarify if a Thai bird calls you this. You may also here “naa ling” which is Thai for monkey face.
Tales From The Street
- Tale1: Punter A and Punter B were really drunk at Rawhide Go-Go and decided to steal some of the Ping Pong balls used in one of the shows. They took the stolen Ping Pong balls to Dollhouse and launched them at the girls where they get paid for each ball they catch. Crazy drunk punters but it does bring up a new scam for Cheap Charlie’s. You can buy Ping Pong balls cheap at the local Tesco and then sneak them into a Go-Go and throw them to the girls. You would probably save 20 or 30 baht, OR you could get a life.
- Quote1: “Having sex with her was like playing with frozen dog poop. It was fun and different at first but got really messy later”
- Quote2: “It’s a Whore Funnel” - Punter A’s description the Nana Plaza exit way at 2:00am
- Quote3: “I’m glad to be going back to the war zone” - Punter A visiting from Iraq. While in Thailand he was sideswiped by a Taxi and caught a hellish cold.
- Quote4: “The ultimate is having a girl who is a lady in public and a whore in the bedroom. The girl I was with last night was my worse nightmare, a whore in public and a lady in the bedroom”.
Big Mango Bar Update
- Happy Birthday to Mikey and Rat
- Big Mango Kitchen Specials:
o Sliced Pork “Zurich” Style with Potato Rosti and Grilled Tomatoes - 190 baht
o Tacos and Nachos have been added to our Menu, Jalepeno Poppers coming soon…
- Dig in:
Upcoming Events
- The 2007 Football Asian Cup is now being played. Thailand tied Iraq 1-1 in the kickoff match. Many other games being played in Bangkok. For a complete schedule see http://uk.reuters.com/article/worldFootballNews/idUKSP22725920070702?feedType=RSS
-pmmp
Me and some friends went to Disco Tech a couple a days ago, I ordered a vodaka soda my friends a Long Island and a Jack coke.
The vodka and the Long Island tasted like thay used Lao Kaow, but the Jack was ok.. be awere…I ain’t going there again..
Monthly Special is amazing..
View all comments by JJ
Hi Chris, (I hope I got your name right)
I am the fairly new customer that met you a couple weeks ago. We talked about suggestions for your website.
Anyway, I just want to let you know that I really enjoyed the article. Very good reading. Keep up the good work.
I am back at the Nana and will stop by for one of the best burgers this side of the Pacific.
Keep up the good work
Bill
View all comments by Bill Foster
Don’t be ashamed of being an American it is not your fault things are somewhat F#$%ed Up. As long as there are differences between people (religion, education, customs, color, and the materialistic got to have’s) we will all suffer and sometimes pay the ultimate price. If Thailand has taught me one thing in the past 32+ years it has been to honor the person by his or her merits. Not by differences in culture, religion, or opinion. I would like to think that I try to treat people as I would want to be treated. I believe you do exactly that with this blog. Your comments about the Kennedy’s are more universal that you give yourself credit for and I remember much about their “Systematic Assasinations”. Don’t give up being an American. We have all seen some tough times.
Mississippi Joe
View all comments by MJ in USA
I’m not an American, but I spend a good amount of time here (I am in FL now).
America is a great country, but has lost it’s soul. I really hope that you guys find it again soon.
Leaders are needed here. I don’t see them coming up soon. All the democrats I see looking to become President are so lacking in character. And I have 0 doubt that one of them is your next head of state.
Perhaps the next generation has the answers - I hope so, and have seen some evidence of that. I hope they take action while your great country is still great.
View all comments by Rob
Nice interview pmmp…..so this is the new sideline blog
‘On the Couch’ with Pmmp (not casting I hope).Still I think we could all do with some redirection and enlightenment….you da man!!
Have just spun out in the office here in blighty….this blog affects my thinking.Got onto discount flight website and f**k-it i’m on my way.Arrive Thurs PM so get the Beerlao on ice!!
I also will be bringing a BKK newbie so it could mean another customer for the new psychiatric practice.
God Bless America!!!!
View all comments by ChelseaBlue
MJ and Rob: Thanks for the Comments
ChelseaBlue: When you bring in the newbie we will give him our “Bangkok Virgin” drink. That’ll get him going for sure.
God Relegate ManCity!
View all comments by pmmp
Hey pmmp,
Thinking about the ‘downer’ you’re on in regard to your Homeland.
You could always say your Canadian….oh Canada blah blah
View all comments by ChelseaBlue
American.Love it or Leave it.I bet you won’t be ashamed to be an American when it’s time to start collecting your social security check.I know people who are millioners who do this.
View all comments by trapperjohn
trapperjohn: I mentioned that I was “somewhat” ashamed, and it’s how I feel at this time. America has been good to me and my family. I’m just a little down about how things are going right now. I think it’s okay to be down about your Country. As you can probably tell, I am hoping things get better for America and for the whole world for that matter. Love it or Leave is a bit harsh imho but you are entitled to your opinion too.
Lastly, just because somebody expresses a negative thought about America you want to yank their Social Security? That would save America a bunch of cash.
View all comments by pmmp
Like America matters….
View all comments by Jack Dawson
Actually…it does, whether you like it or not.
View all comments by Old Asia Hand
Okay folks. We’re not really going to have a debate over whether America matters, are we? Any future comments related to this or that are off topic, or if there are any personal attacks, will be deleted. Let’s not waste each other’s time.
We hope people enjoy this blog for it’s informational/educational nature with positive contributions from all readers. If you want to attack and debate over ridiculous things there are plenty other websites to do that on.
View all comments by pmmp
“Free at Last” and well put. Check out the informational stuff going on with Big Baby Kenny’s latest post. I’d say the AVOID Radar should be on for this street.
MJ
View all comments by MJ in USA
I had a few too many ‘late late’ nighters last week and this past weekend. The afer hours scene was cranking. Lucky Pub was fifty fifty out of the times I visited. One of the best pulls I’ve ever had, and one of the worst. Same can be said for The After in Patpong II. Although the last night I was there the scene (read everybody but the people working) was extremely cliquish if you know what I mean. Not sure if the stars and stripes were appreciated there.
Also, on Friday or Saturday night (can’t remember…neurons aren’t firing properly) I went to Spicy on Rong Muang. Long taxi ride with 4 of us in the cab. 3 guys and one thai girl. The thai girl got the 100 baht+ taxi fare waived because the taxi drivers get 150 baht per head when you go in. I’m not sure if my thai is good enough for the necessary negotiations, but if you’re with someone who can, have a go at it and see if you can save some cash (I hate taxi touts…almost as much as tuk-tuk touts).
Love it or leave it, but you gotta respect it.
View all comments by The Heckler
Heckler - yup that is spicy. they pay per taxi I think. around 100 or 150. not per head. usually if I get a meter ride there I am happy. same when leaving. spicy is hopping for sure. great weeknight spot as well.
View all comments by smitty
Was at cowboy last night for the Suzie Wong’s show at about 10:45.
Did anyone else know there is also one at Sheba’s just after 11?
Smoking girls doing the lesbo thing there too. not sure if that had ever been mentioned here or not, I wasn’t aware of it.
Also two firecrackers at Sheba’s that might be sisters. One dyed their hair a blondish color the other is natural and both have tongue rings! o The one with blond hair name is Pin. Chatted with her for awhile nice gal and really hot.
View all comments by bkk22
Yeah, the shows at Sheba’s run hot and cold. They seem to be done on a semi-random basis, but when they’re good they are indeed very good.
I generally prefer the Suzie Wong show because I always know what I’m going to get, but the regular gogo girls at Sheba’s are usually hotter…
View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy
Just an fyi, Suzie Wong’s and Sheeba’s are owned by the same people which is why you see the same kinda licking going on.
Playskool Pete who owns Playskool, Temptations and Lucky Luke’s in Nana also owns Suzie Wong’s, Apache, Sheeba’s, and the Old Dutch Restaurant on Cowboy. He has a few partners with some of these clubs as well.
However, BBB is right in that they do run a bit different with Suzie Wong’s being way more consistent.
View all comments by pmmp
Wow, “ashamed of being an American”. It’s too bad you feel that way. Regardless of our struggles right now, there is no nation on earth that has done as much and for as many people in the history of mankind. Anytime there is a emergency or catastrophy around the globe…who responds first? Hold your head up.
View all comments by wedge
I don’t think anyone is knocking America’s past successes but many of us are embarrassed by the current America. Protectionist trade stances,the rich getting richer,the middle class struggling, international policy, Iraq, and so on. Maybe if one lives in America there are so many people drinking the koolaid that no one feels weird about it but outside of America one feels daily how many non-Americans feel about America currently. The general consensus is America is a great country but needs to right the ship. Bush needs to go. Iraq needs a more thoughtful approach and rather than save everyone - America needs to turn its attention to it’s home turf. That’s how I feel as an American.
View all comments by smitty
Sheba’s girls are hotter? I might have to give it another go - last few times it seemed to be nothing but the Suzy Wong cast offs (except for the cute girl I went in to see, exiled from Suzy’s for fighting, and her unfortunately off limits cute sister). I can at least justify hideously expensive beers in Suzy’s for the shows.
Suzy’s has gone nude much of the time, although the pasties are still on. Girl tells me the reason is they are scared of police coming in, so the girls are all dancing next to their nickers for a quick change. Cucumbers are now in evidence at the lesbian show but I was too distracted by other events to see how they where being applied…
5-Star seem to have made a fumble after the progress they have made. Now between the midnight girls get naked and dance on your table show and the choreographed simulated lesbian show is a tubby candle wax self torture show to totally put you out of your mood. Came around with a tip bucket later so hopefully it is an unpaid freelancer who will give up since I didn’t see many people tipping…
I still never seem to catch the shows at Deja-Vu any more. At least they have draft beer and some cuties so I don’t feel totally ripped off when I go in to see what is happening.
View all comments by Cabby
Thanks Cabby. I enjoyed that post. You’re truly focused.
View all comments by Combover
Hey guys, thanks for all the great posts so far on the Biz101 section, I have been reading them with close interest. I’m actually coming over to BKK on September 8th, landing at 3pm, not that I’m counting the minutes or anything! I was hoping to hook up with Smitty or some of you Mango regulars. I’ve been to BKK beofore and around the country but it would be good to hang with some permanent residents who know how to do the various places properly… is anyone around? Please feel free to give me a shout on s.young@progressive.co.uk. Ta, Stuart.
View all comments by FarangNut