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| Some Asian tart, yesterday |
It’s been a weird week or so. After the departure of the farangettes, I returned to my thankless task of bed-testing the entire attractive female population of Bangkok (example pictured, right).
But where best to begin? I thought I’d take a cue from my readers and visit Soi Cowboy - the current leader in the “Favourite Bangkok Nightlife Area” poll in the sidebar over there. A relaxing beer or two watching the early shows in Rawhide soon lowered the blood pressure. A few more in Baccara helped even further, so by the time I got to Shark I had almost forgotten my chubby chums and their donut diet.
A word on Baccara - eagled-eyed visitors to Soi Cowboy will have noticed that the site formerly known as Pam’s Cocktail Lounge, ie. the bar with no customers, is no more. Seems Baccara have bought it, and are in the process of knocking through. Hooray for extra Baccara.
Back to Shark bar, and what a ridiculously good bar this is. Do the simple things well, and you will succeed, goes the mantra. Probably. Shark is surely an example of this. No nudity, no shows, no gimmicks, just a stage full of gorgeous girls. And then another stage full. The barfine’s still a bargain ฿500, and they seem to be doing incredibly well.
I was not doing so well, as I’d come in search of girl number X, who has been on my “to-do” list for longer than I care to admit. Every time I’d seen her, I’d either already got company, or wasn’t in a position to take any. This time though, the tables were turned - I was looking specifically for her, and she was nowhere to be seen.
Of course, there are worse situations to be in. Sipping from my beer, I decided that I would have to make do with one of the other hundred or so barely-clad girls. Girl Y looked a good bet, and a cheeky wink was enough to ensure she made her way over to me after her dance shift ended.
I was in a hurry to plough the furrow, so we didn’t do much talking. After one more swift and fruitless scan of the bar for girl X, the barfine was paid, and girl Y and I marched off to the short-time hotel.
I paid up-front for the room, bought a selection of exotic condoms, and took to the stairs. Where I quite literally bumped into girl X, as she descended from upstairs - accompanied by a fat bloke and girl Z. It’s a small world…
i’ll get around to reading your post as soon as I’m tired of looking at the picture … not anytime soon, then …
View all comments by Pants Elk
Is there any way to remove that disgusting picture of the farang fatties ??? I live in America and I see more of them than I care to. Please replace that horrid photo with a picture of 4 Thai cuties. Thank you.
View all comments by Calvin
so was she a good shag ???
View all comments by MSB
@MSB: She was okay. Not as good as me, obviously.
View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy
Me? Fat?
View all comments by Martin99z
Reminds me of that old joke….
Me in bed post sex with some tart.
Me : “So how was I darling”
Tart : “Not bad. You are in my Top 5″
Me : “Wow your father, uncle and brothers must be good then”
View all comments by MSB
An old girlfriend in the UK once asked me if she was the best sex I’d ever had.
I stopped, honestly thought about it, and told her she was the 6th best.
She wasn’t too pleased.
View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy
Which short time hotel do you use near/on Soi Cowboy?
View all comments by Combover
I always used to use Asoke Place, since it’s ฿300 compared to Penny Black’s ฿450. But Penny Black has way nicer rooms, with nicer toiletries, free water, free toothbrushes etc. Asoke will charge you ฿80 for a couple of toothbrushes and a small bottle of water. So I’m coming round to the idea that Penny Black is actually a better idea. Impresses the girls, too - which is good news if you want her phone number…
View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy
If it’s that good I’ll check in for a week on my next visit!
View all comments by Combover
“An old girlfriend …” - just exactly how old are we talking about here, 3B? Bingo-wings old? Granny-pants old?
View all comments by Pants Elk
@Combover: I think it’s available as a regular hotel too - I’ve heard ฿1,500 a night, but that may well be out of date. Not sure if I could cope with living on Cowboy for a week!
@Pants: Alas, you have misunderstood me. A former girlfriend, I should have said. She was well under 30, obviously. No bingo wings to speak of at that point, although she may have developed a pair in the meantime.
View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy
Tart of the Day is a welcome new feature. Especially the ones without the wraparound towels. The ones with the towels remind me too much of Dave the Rave’s Photo Gallery.
Damned if some of them don’t look familiar!
View all comments by kwai mai sabai
Ditto on the Tart of the Day pix and also like the sideblog. Asian cuisine has never been famous for the desserts… except the tarts.
View all comments by soi4rulz
On a slightly different subject, I'm intrigued as to how such a regular bar trawler as yourself manages not to get lumbered with previous 'dates' upon entering a bar.
View all comments by Combover
@Combover: There are a couple of bars that are problematic, but for the most part a dash of honesty goes a long way. Be completely up-front with the girls, tell them you're a "butterfly", and that you might want to go with their friend next time, etc.
The problems arise when you tell a gogo girl that you really like her, hint that you might like her to be your girlfriend, then turn around and shag her friends.
View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy
Hey, nice translation feature. Where did you get that at?
View all comments by ArtTv
@ArtTv: It's a Google thing.
Google are cool. Except when they pull your Adsense account.
It's not been a good day.
View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy
Hi, the series of photographs titled tart of the day has a photograph with caption "me love you long time" this photograph without doubt is taken in the Euro park hotel sukumvit soi one, i don't know if this makes me a real sad bastard for noticing this or is a reflection of how many ladies of soi nana i have had great fun with in this hotel! i hope it's the latter.
View all comments by thaigunner
Yeah, Mauvais garçon de Bangkok, le feature Google translation c'est vraiment top! Par exemple, "Lazy Sex Boy Adventures" becomes "Lazy Adventures of Sex Boy," and "Soi Cowboy" becomes "Cowboy of Self." My sides, zey do ze splits, non?
View all comments by Élans de pantalon
@thaigunner: Let's call it a good thing
@Pantalon: Oh, it's not supposed to be useful. It's supposed to confuse foreign people…
View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy
The translation feature is not that accurate. Tart of the day becomes Au goût âpre du jour in French. I think Babelfish does a better job.
Google pulled adsense, eh?! Same thing that put David at Mango Sauce out of commission (pun). Did Google do it on their own or did someone rat you out? Someone jealous of your site (who doesn't have adsense either).
View all comments by kwai mai sabai
Just be thankful that 3B is independently wealthy. Having been invited to some of his legendary "entertainments" high above Bangkok's busy Thong Lo I can reassure you that anyone who employs a full-time Contraceptive Logistics Executive (supplying her with a gold-handled net to scoop the buggers out of the pool) is not going to lose sleep over a few thousand baht a week ad revenue.
View all comments by Pants Elk
@kwai: The FARANG Speaks 2 Much got their ads pulled on the same day, so my guess is the same person ratted both of us.
Google have never defined what constitutes "adult material", but I've always tried to err on the side of caution here - writing about the old in-out with subtle (okay, not too subtle) innuendo, rather than being explicitly graphic.
Now that my Google ads are no more, I don't have to pander to Google's non-existent rules, and I have absolute editorial control. So to whoever ratted me in, thanks - you've just ensured that this website will become even better.
View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy
This is just never gonna get done, is it ;-?
It's much more elegant to sit around like a gaggle of Coronation Streeters, ignore the obvious and robustly opine on the pH of grapes newly rendered un-attainable.
View all comments by Prufrock
Fuck those greedy sell-out bastards who own Google. They don't mind ratting out some poor pro-democracy chump in Beijing to the Chi-comms (usually resulting in torture and/or execution) so they can keep the PRC revenue streams intact, but ohhhh, talk freely about sex and they will take the food off your table pronto. Spoiled little bratty American dotcom shits, they are.
3B, cheers for carrying on. Bear Lao all around!
View all comments by soi4rulz
Yes, Bear Lao for all.
And then perhaps some beer!
View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy
Returning to those "friends of friends", the silverbellies, for a moment: They crashed your crib and cramped your style for more than a week. Then they reciprocated your hospitality AND protection by "sniding you out."
(Yes, BBB, whether they'd ever admit it is another story. Your protection
That is more disgusting than ANYTHING to be construed from any lazy sex boy adventures and they know it.
And they did it anyway, right?
Furthermore, if their brothel creeping Bangkok host had turned out to be as gay as a plaid rabbit and he'd minced out to Gay Silom every night "to help a different boy" those heifers would have thought he was jist the bee's f*cking knee's. Why? Because Cadbury Cowboys don't threaten their silly silverbelly world the way full on tarts, fit from sex and dancing, most certainly do.
It's this holier than thou, shit slinging pretzel logic that I find so perverse about most Western women . . . . Never mind. They end up shagging like sea lions all over beaches of Africa and South America, Greece, Spain and Mexico.
Did they get into your Beer Lao, as well?
View all comments by Prufrock
It wasn't them. Doesn't add up. Maybe if it was just my site, but it wasn't. Our culprit is someone whose interests are served by pissing in the ricebowl of Bangkok's finer bloggers (ahem). ie. The competition. Nobody else would rat two sites in the same day.
View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy
And it's clear you were ratted on - I don't imagine the geek troops at Google have the time to read every blog in the world to determine its Adsense suitability. But who exactly is the competition? I always admired your blog for plowing its own furrow (ahem); it's like reading someone's diary, more a literary endeavor than part of the Bangkok blog community, whatever that is.
On a serious note, I hope the bank transfers I make every month (to the reader: I pay 3B to have vicarious sex for me, as I am at present unable to indulge myself - and why not? It's like paying for sex, right?) go some way to defraying the expenses of the hi-so lifestyle.
View all comments by Pants Elk
This is blog is a disgrace. I love it. (I have subscribed to your feed).
I'm currently holed-up in South Korea which couldn't be more different. Reading this blog reminds about everything I love about South East Asia in general, and Thailand in particular.
Please keep up the good work. It must be so difficult for you to find the time to actually write it, what with all the 'field work' you are currently engaging in….
View all comments by total-spender
So BBB, I may have missed some of the new developments here… but who are the random tarts? Photos from your personal collection?
View all comments by Julian
@Pants: I am redistributing the Western wealth to rural Issan rice farmers. Such a selfess, thankless task. I'm a real modern hero, right?
@total-spender: Haven't done SK yet. Any good? Presumably not, from the sound of your post…
@Julian: Purloined from Google. Fuck 'em. Yay, I can swear now! No, on a serious note, I obviously have a veritable treasure-trove of photos (and videos) of Thai whores, but sharing them would be against my moral code. Yes, even we whoremongers have morals. Well, some of us…
View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy
South Korea is a joke as far as prostitution goes. You can call an escort service and a woman will show up at your hotel room door. Very expensive though compared to Bangers. Or, there is a street in the Itae-won dong district in Seoul that has a few bars where you can rent a girl after they rip you off for many over-priced drinks. Or if you're wandering around on a Sunday some old woman might ask you if you want a lady. I only tried that once just to check it out. A very disappointing experience.
In the nine months that I worked in Seoul I flew to Thailand (about 4 hours) as often as I could because there is just no comparison. There are a lot of beautiful women in South Korea but unfortunately they're not as abundant and easy.
Also, I would say that I have probably contributed more wealth to the Isaan provinces than most westerners.
View all comments by kwai mai sabai
kwai mai sabai is on the money in his analysis of the *situation* here in South Korea. The girls are stunning but it's a case of 'water water everywhere, and not a drop to drink'. Go figure.
Bangkok Bad Boy - I wouldn't even consider Korea (nothing to see here).
View all comments by total-spender
Can't believe what I'm reading about South Korea — it's a punter's paradise, albeit expensive, once you figure out the score. I lived and worked in Kangnam, Seoul back in 2001.
Have none of you ever heard of Miari, Texas, the Seoul red light district? Until around 2001, this had to be one of the biggest brothel districts in the world! A new local police chief (a woman) decided she had to clean up Miari, so the cops clamped down, and a lot of the business moved into other districts in smaller, more low key clusters. Just ask a taxi driver, they know all the red light areas.
Foreigners were never encouraged to visit Miari, (the posted prices for farangs were double that paid by locals) but that never kept me from having outstanding sex sessions with gorgeous young ladies. The cool thing is that so many brothels have a different theme: in one the girls are all wearing white wedding dresses, the next might be evening gowns, schoolgirl outfits, bikinis, flight attendants, etc. Mostly though, they just lounge around in slinky outfits waiting for YOU to come in. You start by sitting around a low table and drink some beers with the mama and some girls till you pick one (or more) .Then upstairs you go.
Here's a cut and paste from a site mentioning Miari:
"Miari, one of the more famous prostitution areas in Seoul (and there are several), is banning foreigners from the area. How can they do this? And why? Miari is a strange place. Try to imagine a walled-in red-light district and you might get the idea. It takes up a city block, but all the "shops" are on the inside, and there's a wall surrounding the entire area with the occasional entrance that is guarded by a few cops (ostensibly, I'm told, to make sure young girls aren't snuck in). Passing through the "gates," you'll find yourself in a maze of narrow alleys, with beautiful girls on either side of you, sitting patiently in their place of business until a man walks by and picks them out for a little fun time upstairs. Driving by, you would have no idea what goes on there. With the guarded entrances, it's quite easy for them to monitor who comes and goes."
Anyway, go with a Korean friend the first time… assuming Miari is still operating.
Avoid Itaewon, that has always been the low-end 8th Army drinking and whoring area that is an embarrassment to most Koreans.
It's hard to party on a soldier's pay in Korea, but there are always Korean girls who will pick up the tab, just like the Japanese girls do in places like Yokosuka.
Koreans like to practice their English, and if you don't come off like a moron, it's quite possible to meet girls in cafes or while shopping. Just go slow.
If you ever wondered why Korean men keep their hair cut so short, and why there are so many barbershops in Seoul, it's because you can easily get a blow job from your stylist. Cut and blow takes on a whole new meaning. Just look for the old fashioned red-white-blue barber poles (they are everywhere!!), go in, and strike a deal, using sign language, if necessary. I did several times and quite enjoyed my barber chair BJs. Not cheap, but Korean girls are hot and generally take a lot more pride in doing a good job than hookers in any other country I've ever visited.
Then there are the room salons, or hostess clubs. THOUSANDS OF THEM!! Jeez, but Koreans love to party. They are the best drinkers in the world, better than the Chinese. I'm lucky to have a lot of rich friends in Seoul. I pulled more women than I can count out of hostess clubs for long time hotel sex who were, without exaggeration, movie star-fashion model 10s.
Prostitution is HUGE in Korea. The estimate is that 20% of all women 15-29 work in the sex biz.
Did I mention all the massage parlours? I have too many stories, guys.
Beyond the pros, I found it easy to score with the locals, with a minimum investment of time involved. I drilled three of the four office ladies in my buddy's company. He's still pissed at me about that!
Seoul is as much fun as Tokyo, and I can't wait to go back.
View all comments by soi4rulz
@soi4rulz: There is prostitution in South Korea but it was just too expensive in comparison to Thailand so I didn't indulge. The same reason I didn't go for it in Hong Kong or Japan; I kept equating the price to what it would cost in Thailand - usually three or four times as much at least.
There were also lots of free-lancer types who hung around the bars and discos. The best massage and hair-cut I ever had was by a gorgeous masseuse in the Seoul Hilton. No happy ending but the massage was the best working over I've ever had.
The hottest looking chicks were the ones I worked with but I don't mix business with pleasure. If I was ever going to get married again I would want it to be a South Korean woman. I did drink a lot of soju with the Korean men who don't smile as much as the Thai but if they like you their friendship is more genuine.
20% of all women between 15 and 29 working in the sex biz sounds like a high estimate. Still it's only a fraction of the 50% in that age group that I estimate for the same trade in Thailand.
View all comments by kwai mai sabai
kwai mai sabai: Good points. You're right, we are spoiled by the P4P prices in LOS, even more so in Cambo. It makes it hard to pull the trigger sometimes elsewhere. In the beach cities of the DR, it's hard not to pay $100 for a stunner. When I think of how much fun I could have in someplace like Chaing Rai or Mae Hong Son for $100, it makes one hesitate.
The 20% figure was from an international NGO studying the situation in Korea, circa 2003. I agree with the study that the Koreans go to great lengths to hide the vastness of that industry. On the one hand, it's shameful to them. Or the other hand, Korean men want the pussy and Korean women want the avenue to make cash, in a culture where they are still largely second-class citizens.
FYI, in the States, the Koreans control the majority of the massage parlor rackets. There are hundreds of MPs in Los Angeles/Orange county alone, and I'd guess at least 80% are Korean owned and staffed. They tend to shift the girls from city to city, all over the country, to keep them from hooking up and escaping the biz, as it were. They're not prisoners, but controlled pretty well. They make good money and are ususally driving a brand new car.
Maybe the Thai just don't hide it as much as the Koreans?
View all comments by soi4rulz
I missed the follow-up to my original comment but thought I would respond nonetheless (I'm living here so I guess I'm sort of an 'authority').
Korea. Yes, there is an abundance of prostitution here (I concur with most of the points raised by soi4rulz). One only has to look at all the 'love hotels' to see that prostitution is rife.
That said, let's not confuse quantity with quality. Who wants to pay $100 (more usually) for some seriously ugly old hag for a 5 second blow job (usually half-arsed) who will then start shouting 'bally hey!' (Korean for 'hurry up!') when she's riding you (again half-arsed).
And another thing: lest you forget, most places (i.e. knocking shops) in SK won't accommodate 'white' folk (which is annoying, because Koreans are pretty damn hot as anyone will concur who's been here).
Don't get me wrong: there is fun to be had here. However, I'm a firm believer that Korea is the arsehole of Asia. Having spent lots of time in SE Asia and visited Japan, Korea just feels like doing 'time' (and 'time' that falls under the 'hard-labour' category).
And don't get me started on the fact that pretty much everyone here is a Christian (although I concede that doesn't automatically mean that they're not open to being corrupted).
View all comments by total-spender
Good post.
The girl in the picture…what bar is she from? Very cute. Wasn't clear if she was girl Y.
View all comments by PhuketHungGuy
@PhuketHungGuy: She's from Google Images a Go Go. I don't think she's even Thai - she just brightens up the page.
I don't think it would be fair to put my conquests' photos online without permission.
Gaining their permission by explaining my purpose would probably be even worse, as I don’t fancy entering my favourite bars and hearing a chorus of “Hey, it’s Bangkok Bad Boy”.
Or “Krung Thep dek chai mai dee”, which has a kind of ring to it…
View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy
I'll have to hunt down that google a go go next time
Fair enough, I'd rather be called a bad man for better reasons myself as well.
View all comments by PhuketHungGuy
that google girl has some serious bangkok eyes. she looks breakably thin but very nice.
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