The FARANG Speaks 2 Much (tfs2m)

As we have discussed before - running bars in Thailand is full of little side-adventures that seem to have nothing to do with the actual business operations but are issues we deal with due to the strangeness of just having any business in Thailand. Sometimes these episodes are fun but other times they can be midly frustrating. I will let u decide. First some housecleaning…

We talked before about Sim Thailand and Sim Go Go  but it seems maybe we need to take the theory forward a notch by just building a new Go Go complex inside Second Life. A clean slate - a modern Go Go Super complex complete with short time hotels, bar fines, ladydrinks, playrooms, mamasans, and of course teaming with all nude dancers. Seems others are moving in this direction.

I talked about the new phone but wanted to mention a cool feature of it. It has an application on it called Track ID. U hold the phone up to any source of music and hit the play button. It listens to the song long enough to send a request over the internet to Gracenote and if possible comes back with the song name, artist and album. Used it a few times now to 100% success. Pretty cool.

What is up with the way tourists are drawn to Tuk Tuks like the tractor beam from Star Wars? It seems as if the Tuk Tuk drivers possess some force that allows them to suck unsuspecting tourists into their grasp thus allowing them to overcharge, talk too much and prevent otherwise normal people from escaping their artificial gravitational pull. I watched a Tuk Tuk pull up to Silom the other day and drop off 3 girls. They got out and I heard them ask the guy how much. He said 250 baht and they paid it. I did not have the heart to tell them that this amount of money would have taken them to the airport in a metered taxi with some change left over. I am sure they came from Sukhumvit Soi 5, stopped at two different gem marts (where he was given fuel chits), and made a loop around Lumpini Park looking for wild animals before stopping at Silom claiming to have taken them on a tour of inner Bangkok.

The next example is of the Tuk Tuks who cruise Soi 4 looking for newbies. I was walking to work the other day and one of the Tuk Tuks stopped to talk to me but I just kept walking but the guy walking across me heading down Soi 4 was sucked in by the tractor beam with seemingly no ability whatsoever to escape it.

Tuk Tuk: Where u going?

Hapless tractor beam victim: I am going to my hotel.

TT: Why hotel? Let me show u lady.

HTBV: I have lady in room. I go see her now. First I buy condom.

TT: no no. Go see more lady. I tour man. I show u.

HTBV: I go to the hotel. I need some sleep. Then my friend come. I go to airport and then we go out.

TT: I know lady sexy. Have good price.

HTBV: Okay. I believe u. Maybe later when my friend comes then we call u for tour. Okay?

TT: Farang baa.

Tuk Tuk started and he drives away. I think the tractor beam backfired.

HTBV: Okay. Have a nice day.

The white guy keeps walking like he enjoyed having to talk with the Tuk Tuk driver since the tractor beam also has persuasive powers. Tuk tuk driver rushes off having wasted his time and some precious fuel on running the tractor beam for longer than usual but having nothing to show for it. U see people dickering with the Tuk Tuks over 20 baht, sweating and suffering in the sun, while 10 metered taxis with aircon go flying by. I just don’t get it.

Okay. When you have a pub with draft beer u are constantly getting in orders of fresh kegs while having your empty kegs picked up by the beer company. Many times they are not efficient regarding this process since the delivery of beer does not coincide with removal of empty kegs. There are times we are overflowing with empty kegs and have to waste time on the phone pleading with the beer companies to pick up their kegs. One would think they could combine the process or at the very least just be more expedient about retrieving empty kegs. Neither seem possible.

One day overflowing with empty kegs our accountant got a call that the pickup crew from a H(uge) B(eer) company was down at our storeroom ready to grab the empties. She goes down to the storeroom to check the paperwork (kegs are expensive so u want to make sure the paperwork is straight), counts the empties (we get charged if they are any missing at 3000 baht per), and verifies everything is signed properly. All good in the hood and we have a proper signed receipt for 14 empty kegs having been picked up. If we don’t complete this cycle we have a hard time getting beer delivered.

Fast forward to the afternoon of the same day and our same accountant calls in a beer order to the same company. The beer company responds that there won’t be a delivery until they get the empties back. She says that the empties were picked up in the morning. The company says there were not. So our accountant pulls out the paperwork and tell them who picked it up. They say that it would be impossible since said pickup person is on holiday. So they ask her what they guy looked like and how it was signed. Seems it was signed by the guy who should be picking up but the description our accountant gave was of the guy on holiday.

The company said they would call back. They called back about 10 minutes later to verify the facts and it was discovered that this guy used his holiday day to do regular pickups of empty kegs from about 4 pubs and never returned to work. He will most likely try and sell them for a few thousand baht a piece but at this point no one knows if he will return to work or just disappear. Funny thing is that we have him on camera and have properly pointed him out using his ID as well. So not sure where he will go.

The part that really got to me, since I think the fact that the beer company was robbed internally does not surprise me, was the fact that they were still holding up our delivery since they felt we were somewhat responsible for the missing kegs. At this point I lost it. I called the head person who oversees the keg distributor and told him if this was not solved in mere moments I would pull his beer. We are one of the leading sellers of said beer and I knew he would freak if we ripped out his beer for a competitor. I just laid into him how one could think for 2 seconds that this had anything to do with us and to add insult to injury they would withhold our order. Great. Keep us from selling your beer - how does that make any sense at all?

Within the hour the beer company resolved our order, admitted they got worked over by their own employee and further asked of us to help with the police paperwork. So the next day our accountant spent more than a few hours at the police station helping the beer company to bring charges against the missing employee. What really gets me is the beer company has not said thank you, has not offered anything in return and nor have they really apologized for making any of this our problem to being with. I found the whole lack of respect utterly pathetic but at the same time wonder why they think it is okay to treat customers in this manner to begin with. Have not heard yet if they have found the guy and will keep watch to see if the beer company ever comes around to make amends but somehow I doubt it. I just cannot imagine this same situation happening in America but at the same time America does not have a Nana Disco. Even?
Seems Thailand will continue to be the showcase for inept beer companies. Keep a lookout for a Thai guy on the highway to Pattaya selling empty kegs as souvenirs.