It’s a hard life, constantly stress-testing the beds of Bangkok’s short-time hotels - as well as my own. Recently, in between shopping for new bedposts (the last ones got notched to slivers, I’m afraid), I decided it was time to take a break.
So I’m going to head down to one of Thailand’s beautiful beach islands for a few days. All that remains to be decided is who’s coming with me. Hence the onset of The Interviews.
I’ll be trawling the internet, the bars, the massage parlours, the coyote clubs and the shopping centres of Bangkok imminently, checking out possible candidates.
Here’s what I’ve come up with so far. Feel free to suggest your own additions:
Travel Partner Application Form
Please attach at least two photographs
(one full-length and one close-up face shot)
Personal Details
What you name?:
How old you?:
Where you come from?:
Yes, but where in Issan?:
How much you weigh?:
You have job?:
What you job?:
Multiple Choice
You speak English?: y/n
You have baby?: y/n
You have depressingly droopy funbags?: y/n
You have grotesque strech-marks? y/n
You can suck golfball through garden hose?: y/n
You can put ankles behind ears?: y/n
You like boom-boom in bum-bum?: y/n
Tie-breaker
I should accompany Bangkok Bad Boy to the scenic beach island because:
(complete the sentence in thirty words or less)
Haha,
put you should have “interview stoppers” between the questions, I mean,if they fail the candidate, like:
You have baby?: y/n (if n, return the paper and never look back. Do you have sister who doesn’t have baby? y/n if yes, give this paper to her)
or
You can suck golfball through garden hose?: y/n (if n, return the paper and take this straw with you to practise untill next time)
etc…. (I mean, if the baby and/or are hmm, turn offs, depends on indivudual taste ofcourse)
btw, you take your night time birds ever back to your own apartment? How about “the reputation”? Any concerns of that? Or like reading from tfs2m about the negatives like drunken’ birds banging at your door in the middle of the night if they know where you live…
View all comments by LOL
Depends on the girl and the situation.
I have been a little more careful since this happened though…
View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy
Damn, funny, so it was your blog after all where I read this, or heck, well, I bet the guys at tfs2m blog has also touched this subject!
View all comments by LOL
They cross-pollinate so much that they should probably merge into one site called the BBBigMangoBlog.
In fact, they’re probably cross pollinating most of the gogo girls in Bangkok too.
(So am I, I guess…)
I pollinated a pull girl from SCowboy the other night at my apartment (stupid) and actually traded phone numbers with her (even more stupid).
She’s called me every f*cking day since then… as long as she doesn’t come pounding on the door. Hopefully she’d had enough whiskey or yaa baa that she won’t remember where I live. I must have had AT LEAST that much alcohol that night to have been stupid enough to welcome her into my personal life!
View all comments by werewolf
I have never cross-pollinated the Mango guys, and anyone who says I have is lying.
Having a collection of speed-dials who know how to get to your apartment is a Very Good Thing. Unfortunately, screening them for mental health issues is not a simple process, as we’ve both discovered. Still, what’s the worst that could happen?
View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy
No cross pollination
I think the comparison is regards to our post about interview questions for new hires at Lolitas. I won’t post a link for fear of condemnation…
View all comments by Smitty
I will:
http://www.tfs2m.com/2007/02/19/mango-weekly-18-february-2007/
A slightly different approach, but some good lines!
Now about this merger - are you a sponge or a stone?
View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy
hmmm.
I am a speckled weevil.
View all comments by Smitty