The FARANG Speaks 2 Much (tfs2m)

22 Responses to “Gulliver’s review”

1. 1 Dave Sep 30th, 2007 at 4:45 pm

   BKKBB
   At the risk of sounding complete foolish, how can you tell the difference between the freelancers in Gullivers and just the regular Thai girl.  I was in Gulliver's last night for the first time, and I found it hard to believe that they were all freelancers.  Several were very well dressed…etc.
   View all comments by Dave

2. 2 Bangkok Bad Boy Sep 30th, 2007 at 4:51 pm

   In my experience, regular Thai girls very rarely hang out in places like Gulliver's.

   Perhaps a Thai girl with a Western boyfriend would accompany him there, but if a table of girls are on their own then they're generally fair game. The well-dressed thing is a result of our generous donations to their wardrobe allowance
   View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy

3. 3 Bangkok Bad Boy Sep 30th, 2007 at 4:53 pm

   PS. Even if a "regular" Thai girl were to wander in by mistake, she would immediately realise the kind of establishment this is. So any girl who's likely to take offense at being hit on by a horny farang will not stay in there long.
   View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy

4. 4 awk Oct 1st, 2007 at 12:31 pm

   PS. PS. And even if they are freelancers, nothing saying they won't
   go with you for free if they like you.
   View all comments by awk

5. 5 Poile Oct 16th, 2007 at 2:21 pm

   I think it is unlikely they would go home with you for free!  But I will try my luck this weekend.  Any specific advice?  Great lines?
   View all comments by Poile

6. 6 awk Oct 17th, 2007 at 2:34 pm

   Oh, I have eventually accumulated considerable hard-earned experience in this field, but unfortunatly, it's like any skill, you need to practise and practise. Not enough to just read about it.
   Great lines? My only one is indicating it's very late now, people very drunk, no customer for you tonight, better you go with me for free.
   My game is geared towards the dancefloor though, since I like dancing and feel too lazy to scream into their ear at the loud discos, so might not be appropriate for everyone.

   My general approach is to treat them as any other girl. Have fun with them, dance, sex them up on the dancefloor. Start slow, then dance closer and closer, grind your dick into her crotch/ass. Make her horny. Eventually you're close enough to be kissing, but I try to avoid that, both since it looks slutty, and since I might not yet be sure if she's looking for money or not. A very light brush of lips to lips is ok, and an excellent gauge of interest. Her bodylanguage should easily tell you if she likes you or not.

   Don't dance with her too long if you have no intentions of paying though. Also _do not_ kiss her. That may ruin here chances to get a real customer, so will just piss her of, and is rude.

   If you're at the point where you know you can kiss here and she won't back away (except possibly due to modesty since you're in a public place, her friends might see her, etc.), it's time to start figuring out if she will go with you or not.

   In farangland, at this point, it's pretty much a done deal, and you just need to figure out the logistics (your place or her place, does she have friends she needs to get rid of first? etc.), but here in thailand it is unfortunatly often necessary to make sure she goes with you because she likes you, and not because she expectes to demand a large bill the next morning. Well, at least it is for some of us.
   Some times you can tell pretty sure that she's not looking for a customer, at which point you do same as in farangland. I usually just say "do you want to go with me?", but many times, I'm either not sure, or I'm sure she's looking for a customer.

   I like to make it clear to her that I like her, but I'm not a customer. If she wants to go with you, that's fine, but you're not paying. At least here where I am, many of the girls, even at the "freelancers" discos speak little english, and unfortunatly my thai is even worse, so I have to be quite blunt, to the point of saying I'm not a customer and "me no have money".

   I remember a few weeks ago I went with a girl who I was sure was looking for a customer (found out later she was working as a bargirl nearby), and due to her bad english and my bad thai, I told her at least three times I'm not paying and asked if she understood, to be sure. Would think she'd get pissed of enough after the second time to dump me.
   This is the difficult part, and what makes thailand. "Normal" girls will be, rightfully, insulted if you indicate you think she's a whore, and I've had a few "ick, there's a fly in my soup"-looks from them when bringing up the subject of money.

   When bringing up the "do you want to go with me", it's helpfull to at least have attempted to classify the girl in your mind.

   There are in my experice roughly three types of girls I can end up with:

   a) normal girls. Think only whores take money. May sometimes have whore-friends though, so knows the game, but does not play it. Will go with you for free if they like you. Never asks for beer/drinks, are actually more likely to buy you one.

   This is the same girl as we have in farangland. Any girl that buys you a drink or spends money on you, will almost always fall into this group.

   Don't insult her by telling her "me not pay" or otherwise indicate you might think she's a whore. Take her home, and should you be wrong and she asks for money next morning, well, then you're shit out of luck. Consider it a miscalculation on your part, pay her, and learn from the experience.

   Never happened to me, but then, if I'm not sure, I prefer to become sure before taking her home.

   b) freelancers. Out to have a good time and hoping to get a decent customer at the same time. Will go with you for free if
   1) they like you a lot.
   2) they like you, it's getting late, and they don't see any customer they like.

   Tell her you think she's pretty. Ask if she wants to go with you.

   If she says yes (if she say anything else, you've obviously miscalculated and she doesn't really like you), tell her you you're not a customer, you not have money. At this point she will consider if she likes you enough for that, and say something to indicate if it's ok or not.

   If she indicates it's not ok, you can play the "very late now … for sure you not get customer now anyway … I know you like me, and I like you. Better you go with me. ;-)" Has worked for me a bunch of time. Make sure you say it smiling/laughing and that she joins in too.

   One time I said the same to a girl, who laughing passed it on to her two friends next to her, a girl and a guy.

   The guy asked me "are you serious?!"

   me: "sure! Ah, [putting my arm around his shoulder], this papasan? ;-)" Everybody starts laughing, and I literally drag the girl out by the hand. Some more fluff talking on the outside, before she gets on my motorbike and we're off to club awk.

   c) hardcore prostitutes/"business ladies". These will only go with you for free if they really really like you and they think they will not get any customer today. These ladies do not look like they're out to have fun. They're hunting for customers, and it's easy to see. Hard, calculating, eyes, and look like they've been in the game a long time.

   These ladies are almost always working in a bar as their "normal" job, and might venture out as freelancers to after-hours clubs if they haven't got (enough) customers in the bar that day.

   You can be as blunt as you like with these and not worry about hurting anybodys feelings. Unlikly they will go with you unless they know and really like you though.

   Their pussy is proably sore from the pounding they recived earlier/last night, and they'll rather let their pussy relax this night than fuck you for free.
   View all comments by awk

7. 7 horni_rhino Dec 9th, 2007 at 6:47 am

   Freelancers are great value for money and normally good fun in the bedroom. I love picking up a street girl especially in Sukhumvit near soi 5. I've had a few freebies too and not had to spend lots on the girl, just breakfast and shes happy.
   A nice bar to start the afternoon off in is Boo-Sa-Bar in Soi 7/1 left side of The eden club. Great cheap happy hour drinks 4-7pm and the owner Andrew and wife srim are 2 very nice people. Non pushy girls, news papers,comfy seats,TV,nice massage if u like up stairs in a friendly bar….It a winner especially if your a regular in BBk as you often meet up with fellow past travellers from time to time, it's my local bar….just 6000miles away… 
   View all comments by horni_rhino

8. 8 Pants Elk Dec 9th, 2007 at 10:22 am

   awk's encyclopedic knowledge of dancefloor pickup technique is invaluable for those who can actually step onto a dancefloor without looking like a geography teacher at the school disco. My own method of indicating interest in a Gulliver's lady (uh … incidentally … where is the dancefloor at Gullivers? I must have missed that) is to discreetly unlimber my palpitating trouser cargo and tuck a couple of 10,000 baht notes into the foreskin. This, waved modestly in the young lady's direction, sends both a polite and unambiguous message of intent that will never cause offence, and leads to a happy outcome more often than not. Variations on this theme include gently inserting rolled currency into the orifice of your choice, or having "I pay for sex" tattooed on your forehead (a smiley emoticon is a nice touch!), or actually just going through the door and standing there. Genrally the girls catch on to the fact that you're not just there for a glass of beer sooner or later.
   View all comments by Pants Elk

9. 9 prufrock Dec 9th, 2007 at 1:02 pm

   @Panties: Why are your posts so long lately?
   View all comments by prufrock

10. 10 prufrock Dec 9th, 2007 at 1:20 pm

    awk? Thanks for all those  tips on how to passive-aggressively swindle young Thai women out of sex.
    BTW, how do sustain life here? Diplomat's son? man of commerce? investments? checks from Mom and Dad? modeling?  . . . .  390Bt /hr cross-cultural gigolo for Wall St. English  ;-?
    View all comments by prufrock

11. 11 eloelo Dec 9th, 2007 at 2:29 pm

    @prufrock i some how think you have a made a very valid statement. too swindle lovely thai ladies for sex….is it a moral crime..or.. a moral dilemma.
    just doesnt sound right to me……
    View all comments by eloelo

12. 12 Pants Elk Dec 10th, 2007 at 9:38 am

    Prufers, lngth nvr bn prblm fr me. Hpe this shrtr piece mts wth yr apprvl!
    View all comments by Pants Elk

13. 13 prufrock Dec 10th, 2007 at 12:08 pm

    Sheesh . . . . . just asking there, Panties. 
    You may or may nor have noticed that lately your posts are slightly more wordy. . . . . . .   quite different from the 'soul of wit' stuff to which we'd grown accustomed.  . . . . . . .  would you not agree?
    View all comments by prufrock

14. 14 Awk Dec 10th, 2007 at 1:27 pm

    @prufrock you're welcome.

    Sometimes one of Pants 10,000b bills fall out with neither him nor the young lady noticing it.

    With me being the water and juice companies best custommer in the bar, just one of those happenings is enough to get me through the month in style.

    Yesterday a freelancer did give me a heineken she had just purchased at the bar though, after I looked lustly at her as she passed by me on the dancefloor.  I tried to offload the heineken on a go-go girl I had taken to club awk the previous weekend, and who next time I saw her was sulking after I declined her kind offer to buy a beer to both her and her fellow slut friend, even after she, as eloquently as only Pants could have put it, "give me ffuck or free".  Sadly, miss go-go was nowhere in sight at the time, no doubt giving, or selling as it may be, "it" to somebody else.
    View all comments by Awk

15. 15 Adzadel Dec 10th, 2007 at 1:38 pm

    Hmmm so Boo-Sa-Bar and gullivers,,, hmm here i come,,, oh shit,,,,, no fore skin,,, crap,, now what?
    View all comments by Adzadel

16. 16 Pants Elk Dec 10th, 2007 at 5:42 pm

    @Prufers: none of these posts takes me longer to write than it does to read. And the pithy one-line retorts for which I have become in-demand at hi-so gatherings are dependent upon something to inspire them. Otherwise I ramble. If you think these posts are long, though, you should bear in mind I've just finished writing (well, got to the end) of a 120,000+ word novel. This is fortune cookie stuff - and have you already forgotten Dicer's epic screeds? Or awk's in this very thread?

    Sheesh, just replying there, Prufers.
    View all comments by Pants Elk

17. 17 prufrock Dec 10th, 2007 at 8:02 pm

    Actually, it's no big deal. I mean it wasn't a problem
    I had just noticed, more by way of comment than criticism, that your  posts were getting longer than usual.  Your recent 120,000 word wrestle with the angel would explain the post- coital diction. 
    Relieved to have them all nicely back in the pen at the end :-?  (Without using a cattle prod, time travel or (my all time fave) waking from a dream?

    Dicer used to pull out all his unedited Thai stuff and drop it on MS as a sort workshop exercise.  . .  I swear he'd read the comments and  then add more words.
    View all comments by prufrock

18. 18 Penfold Dec 11th, 2007 at 1:32 am

    @Adzadel - foreskin is way over-rated anyway
    I havent got any - i turned out fine……………… kinda
    View all comments by Penfold

19. 19 Pants Elk Dec 11th, 2007 at 10:05 am

    It's a bit quiet round here, isn't it? I think 3B is sleeping one off … let's play dirty words until he gets back!

    I'll start - flapjack.
    View all comments by Pants Elk

20. 20 Adzadel Dec 11th, 2007 at 12:38 pm

    Poostain
    View all comments by Adzadel

21. 21 hanuman Dec 11th, 2007 at 5:08 pm

    Let's hope he didn't get a heart attack, taking all that viagra, while researching for his last post"only dust came out".
    View all comments by hanuman

22. 22 Bangkok Bad Boy Dec 11th, 2007 at 5:52 pm

    Let me assure you that I'm alive and well. I've been living happily these past 8 months in the year 1885.
    View all comments by Bangkok Bad Boy

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